Friday, February 18, 2005

This pains me

President's day is a federal holiday where MOST schools do not have classes scheduled. But not this year. This year we have classes. This is the first year I can EVER recall going to class on President's Day. Why? Because of gosh-darn funding problems!

Political comedian Mo Rocca tore a crowd up in laughter in Kansas. I still need to see this guy speak some time.
His performance was part of the Glickman Lecture Series. Dan Glickman, now head of the Motion Picture Association of America, was in the crowd.

A good part of his act consisted of Rocca shown posing on the gravesites of numerous presidents and sharing stories about the unusual tour guides he encountered. Like the guy who took him to the basement of Ulysses S. Grant's house.

Rocca went over, with slides, the Democratic candidates and what went wrong. Dick Gephardt, he pointed out, would have been the first albino in office. John Edwards, the first 14-year-old.

Voters polled after the election said that they voted based on moral values, and Rocca said they really meant gay marriage. He then showed three slides of John Kerry and Edwards embracing, followed by SpongeBob SquarePants.

He placed his bet on Hillary Clinton as America's next president. The Bush-Clinton-Bush-Clinton chain can't be broken, he pointed out.

So George P. Bush, the president's handsome nephew, and Chelsea Clinton will come next, he said.

As a tribute to his VH1 shows, Rocca pulled a girl out of the audience and quizzed her on 1990s trivia, such as Latin explosion artists and the 1992 Bush bomber mission over Tokyo (when Bush vomited on the Japanese prime minister).
I've been in contact with Secretary Dan Glickman before about political advice and an autograph that I've been told I would get but never did. Slow mail?

Bush presses his diplomatic concerns to conflicts. He's touting his paper-rock-scissors plan as a way to save funding for his tax plan.

The Clinton-Kerry bill to give the ex-convicts a right to vote is just another way to get Martha Stewart's vote.

Congresswoman wants an explanation of the Gannon ties to the White House. Why was he not in Neverland instead?

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