Sunday, February 05, 2006

The 2006 Super Bowl Pregame

Got this in the email inbox from BangitOut.com.

Top 10 Signs you know you are at a Jewish Super Bowl Party '06:
10.You find yourself rooting for Pittsburgh solely because the name Roethlisberger sounds Jewish
9. No one corrects you when you accidentally call Jerome Bettis, "Chus Bus"
8. After winning QB says "I'm going to Disney World" someone must ask: For Pesach--where you staying, the Fountain Bleu?
7. The XL in Superbowl XL refers to your waist size after the consuming a full tin of Dougies wings
6. Oblivious Yeshivish neighbor keeps coming over asking how the Yankees are doing
5. Seattle fans refer to the Steelers as the 'Pittsburgh Ganavim'.
4. Arguments turn into a Rabbi Yissochor Frand (Seattle native) VS. Rabbi Avrohom Twersky (Pittsburgh native) hashkiafic debate
3. No talking is allowed 'B'shas ha'commericals'
2. Whenever Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction is discussed, the word ' shanda' is used.
1.As you leave party you still think: Roethlisberger has got to be Jewish, No?

Another Super Bowl joke.
Top Ten Things to watch for if the Superbowl was played in Israel
10. Halftime show would include the guy who does the voice for "Bezek Shalom"
9. When the Israeli team gains 5 yards, Palestinians ask for 45 yards back
8. Maccabi Beer commercials involve a lot of scantily clad Chasidim
7. Winning Quarterback triumphantly ends game saying "I'm Going to Disney Land, after I finish the army and get addicted to crack while traveling in India!"
6. First Down checks would be done by the UN Security Council (using the green line)
5. On every play there is always an Off-sides call
4. At least 50 people confuse oversized mascot with Ariel Sharon
3. No matter who wins, CNN reports something about occupation
2. For some reason Tom Chambers will be playing quarterback
1. The real winning team, first to score a safety

Yes, there are ten reasons why we love the Super Bowl

Top 10 Reasons why Jews love the Superbowl
10. Every time you see Super Bowl XXXVII, you think Hertz/Soncino Chumash chapters
9. Your yeshivish cousin Shimmy is still saying "Whazzzzzuuupp!" to sound "with it"
8. You don't have to fast
7. There's always some Al Michaels look-alike davening in your shul
6. It's the reason you made your father-in-law pay for the 36" HDTV Flatscreen TV, isn't it?
5. Touchdown celebration dances reminds you of your wedding at Marina Del Rey
4. Sounds like JNF's Super Sunday Telethon
3. No matter who wins, you're going to Disneyworld for Pesach
2. There's always one guy who needs to fervently explain the Talmudic logic of why one Bud commercial was better than another
1. Jews know the real pressure of getting a "Ring"

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