Steve Martin hosts SNL for the 14th time as Prince is the musical guest.
Cold Open Digital Short: Steve Martin and Kelly Ripa discuss Viagra at dinner. This takes place from when Alec Baldwin hosted a while back. Baldwin cameos in this short. Martin chokes him. Andy Samberg, Lorne Michaels, and Will Forte are in this. Lorne wants them to call Tom Hanks. Steve throws him out of Rockefeller Center. Interesting digital short with a pre-taped cold open. Live from New York, it's Steve Martin!
Monologue: Standing ovation for Steve. This is a record 14th time. It's an emotional night. Plugs The Pink Panther. Almost 30 years to the date of February 6, 1976. Or was it April 11th? April 17th? Heavy coats means January 11th? You know what? December 1980? Shares photos. Doesn't even know the current cast. The viagra clock is still ticking... Maya Rudolph returns for the first time! Prince is here!
DeBeers Spoof Commercial: Valentine's Day. Forte and Amy Poehler. A teddy bear holding a heart. I think Kristen Wiig was in this commercial. "A Teddy Bear Holding a Heart." This is available everywhere.
Oprah: Maya returns as Oprah. I'm guessing James Frey is the guest. Yes, she was duped. "Skating at the Bottom of the Ocean" by Stone Freeman may have been fabricated. Steve plays Stone who dupity-duped her. I swear he looks just like my race/gender/media professor from last year. He tears a page out.
Don't Buy Stuff You Can't Afford: Amy Poehler, Steve, and Chris Parnell. Parnell plugs this book. Get Out of Debt.
Hamas Celebration: Steve plays himself and he was on the phone with Britney. Bill Hader, Fred Armisen, and Seth Meyers play members of Hamas. Steve doesn't hate Israel but Star Magazine says that he does. What would the studio want? Pink Panther being promoted or him labeled an anti-Semite.
Digital Short - Close Talkers: Steve Martin and Will Forte are too close to each other. Steve is Gary. Will is Ben.
Quick Zoom Theater: Parnell hosts this show sponsored by the Canon ultra zoom. Fred and Steve are in this. Fred is Billy Stevens. This has a lot of zooms. Maya is in this. Kenan Thompson is in his first sketch of the night. I really wish I knew what this was about but my roommate his blasting his music.
Musical Guest: Prince
Weeekend Update: SOTU. Offer not valid in a few continents. Bush called for ban on cloning. Bush was chastised. Sam Brownback went on the defense due to Brownback Mountain jokes. Alito confirmed. Abortion joke as Amy leaves. Greenspan retirement. African-American museum to be built next to the Washington Monument. Kate Moss. Mattel will have profound changes in Thailand. Congressional Black Eyed Peas. Federal class action suits against James Frey. Britney Spears and Will and Grace. Kevin Federline as janitor. Tiffany Prince scored 113 points 137-32 victory against the New York Knicks. That statistic is nowhere to be seen online.
Super Bowl XL Music Warmup: Amy Poehler, Seth Meters as producers. Horatio Sanz as Aaron Neville. Neville complains about Food. Kenan plays Aretha Franklin. Both complain about food. Jason Sudeikis plays someone who sings the Popeye jingle. Suds plays Mac Rebennack. The sketch is a run through of the pregame show. Neville ruins the national anthem. Food arrives.
Steve Wants a Raise: That's what I call this sketch. Steve talks to Lorne about the ratings and the fees that he's been paid. He wants $5,500. Chris says Steve is needed for the next sketch. Lorne gets paid $12 million. Jimmy Fallon and Alec Baldwin are standing by. Alec wants pie. Nice seeing Jimmy fallon cameo.
Prince Show: Not a surprise with Fred as Prince and Maya as Beyonce. Perfect timing. First guest is the chef played by Steve. This sketch will not be complete without the real Prince. Drew Barrymore played by Kristen Wiig. Kristen does not do a good Drew. The sketch ends without the real Prince ever making a cameo.
NBC Nightly News on FOX with Brian Williams 3000: The Tom Brokaw 2600 is being repaired. Seth plays Brian. Darrell Hammond plays a hologram of Chris Matthews. Bush is to give the State of the Galaxy in the Expedia.com Capitol building. Forte plays Bush. Sanz plays a Speaker of the House. They still have not captured OBL. The energy crisis has not been addressed as the sun is about to fade away. Bill Hader is behind him. Every American over 50 launched into space. The Army Corps of Engineers have protect New Orleans from a Category 5. No idea on the Category 12 that is battering the gulf coast. A response from Hillary Clintron.
The Tangent: Another Digital Short. This has Kristen and Fred. This makes three in one night. Hader shows up. Who is Fred talking to? He never shuts up. There's Chris Parnell. He gets his own show. He gets cast in a movie. This was cut from the Scarlett Johansson show. There's Conan O'Brien and the real Brian Williams. The movie did not do that well at the box office.
Ted the Ungnarly Surfer: Bill Hader, Andy Samberg, Forte, Steve, Fred, Jason (Dragon), Seth (Slapshot), Bill, Kristen. Steve plays Ted and he is not liked by the surfers. This has most of the cast. Steve leaves against his will.
Musical Guest: Prince again.
Naturally Crafting: Rachel Dratch stars in this one. Steve plays Jack somebody. There is a nor'easter ocurring during this sketch. Steve crashes at Crash Hollow. I may have some spellings wrong. Steve with long hair is very weird. Rachel brings in a mandolin.
Goodbyes: Steve says silent than "Thanks to Prince, Alec Baldwin, Jimmy Fallon, Taymar.
NATALIE PORTMAN ON MARCH 4TH WITH MUSICAL GUEST FALL OUT BOY. That's the night of the Wendell Ford Dinner! I think I'll get home in time. I should. Man, that's gonna be a great night. I can't be two places at once and wish that I could be at 30 Rock.
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