Musical Guest: The Killers
For the first time since year 25, there are no new members of the cast. Dane Cook is hilarious so it should be a fun night this evening as the season begins anew. Just like last season, I'll review as the show goes on in between commercials.
Richard Eckstrom for Comptroller - Amy Poehler (Mayor Shelia Bradshaw)introduces Eckstrom (JS). He thanks a lot of folks. The principal is Kristen Wiig. Bush (Forte) even made it down to help the campaign. Samberg plays a Republican high school student who organized a car wash. Bush talks to Kristen Wiig in the background. Bush mentions all the folks who turned him down. Kristen Wiig mentions how she's trying to listen while Bush is ignorant. This sketch is getting too long. New Orleans has recovered. Woodward wrote another book. Bush keeps his speeches simple. Kristen Wiig moves to the other side of the stage. Live from New York, it's Jason Sudeikis.
Monologue - Looks like Dane is gonna do stand up again. He's wearing a shirt with The Flash on it. If a female does something with their jaw, they are lying. He believes in fairness which is why he watched FOX News. Enough with Karaoke Kevin and Limbo Linda. YouTube gets a plug. Every video ever is already on YouTube. Search for a:F6.
Homeland Security - Jason Sudeikis and Dane Cook play Homeland Security people. Will Forte, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Kenan Thompson, and Fred Armisen are members of the TSA. They go over liquids and jails. Turkey sandwiches is neither a liquid or a gel. AP asks the curveball question. FA's been convicted of a felony.
Hugo Chavez Political Roundup - Fred Armisen is Hugo Chavez. Lots of political issues. Iranian president is Bill Hader. Pakistani president is Darrell Hammond. North Korea's crazy leader is Amy Poehler. First issue is President Bush. Issue two is America crumbling. The third issue is what makes Bush so crazy. The fourth issue is what country other than your own would you live in. They all said America. Hussein (Cook) makes the final commentary.
Digital short: Cubicle Fight - Hader and Cook share a cubicle. All the cast is in it. Sudeikis is the one with a mustache is. That was bloody.
Wells Fargo Presents Al Pacino checks his bank balance - Bill Hader is Pacino trying to check his balance of his checking account. He seems frustrated. Kristen Wiig is Sasha, a customer service rep. He doesn't know his account number.
The Killers sing "When you were young." This single is nothing like their last album. The album, Sam's Town, is influenced by Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty.
Weekend Update: It's Amy Poehler with Brian Williams with no intro music. Brian's the new co-anchor. Seth comes in and mentions he's the new anchor. Seth has no anchor earpiece. Brian is heading home to his wife and two kids. Okay, commercial break...something's wrong here. Okay, here we go. That's more like that. Joke about Afghani and Pakistani presidents refusing to shake hamds. Construction mismanagement. "Let history judge." It's in the 9/11 Commission Report. Woodward slammed Rumsfeld in a new book. Clinton lashes out at Bush. Clinton (Hammond) and Rice(Rudolph) discuss it. Clinton apologizes for losing his call. Apparently, Clinton cheated with Condi. 7-11 is dropping Citgo as it's gas supplier. A Florida teen returns to Cuba. Oprah's lawyers overreacted. Bush released portions of NIE. George Allen defends himself (Sudeikis). A fossil was found in Ethiopia. The Game Show Network is launching a game dealing with vocabulary. Jim Webb declined whether to say whether he used some words. Financial literacy. Dustin Diamond "Screech" is releasing a controversial tape...yep, that's Andy Samberg. Miss Cleo is a lesbian. Tigers will become extinct if governments don't protect them right now. A man robbed someone of Tickle me Elmo in Florida.
Water Distribution - Forte and Cook are drinking out of the water jugs a company distributes. They rush to put everything up. Wiig is with the water company. Forte likes to watch. Wiig looks around. Forte opens up the closet and all the jugs come out. Dane is about to break character. They both got fired on the spot. Forte mentions he has a friend who works on SNL who could write the sketch. They plug Studio 60 and 30 Rock.
The Killers sing "Bones," the second single off their album Sam's Town.
Farrah Fawcett for Ocean Shave - Amy Poehler talks about the ocean. She enters the next sketch.
Bar sketch - Cook and Suds tell everyone that it's time for them to go. A game went 19 innings. Cook throws Hader's keys out. Kenan and Darrell got thrown out. Kristen is picked up and taken outside. Amy and Maya go with her. Fred is the last one standing and not moving.
Geico - Eric Butler (Samberg) shares his story and Whitney Houston (Rudolph) is the celebrity telling his story.
Jaime Pressley hosts next week with musical guest Corinne Bailey Rae.
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