Late Show with Dave Letterman: Top Ten New York Yankees Excuses

10. Wanted Columbus Day off to get to all the sales
9. Thought series was best 6 out of 11
8. We’ve already missed the first three episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy” — enough is enough
7. Thought Joe Torre told us to give 10 percent
6. Players distracted by erotic text messages from Mark Foley
5. Shouldn’t have switched to the cheaper generic steroids
4. Clubhouse caterer replaced E. coli-tainted spinach with E. coli-tainted lettuce
3. Uh, global warming?
2. More focused on how they’re going to get by on a lousy $16 million a year
1. What’s the point? North Korea’s gonna nuke us at any moment s