Top Ten Signs You've Been Watching Too Much College Basketball

Courtesy of Late Show with David Letterman
10. To get in the mood, you ask your wife to dress like Billy Packer
9. Human resources asks you to stop handchecking co-workers
8. When announcer says Butler guard A.J. Graves averages 2.4 rebounds per game, you mutter, "It's 2.3, moron"
7. Recently hired a guy to mop up your sweat
6. Your kids are seeded according to how much you love them
5. In honor of Texas A&M, you name your triplets "A," "M," and "Ampersand"
4. Checked into rehab to kick $500-a-day "nacho cheese" habit
3. In a pinch, you ask, "What would UNLV assistant coach Greg Grensing do?"
2. The nagging voice in your head saying, "Cheney and I should really be focusing on Iraq"
1. Difficult to tell where your ass ends and the couch begins