Chuck Lorre's Recent Vanity Card

If you watch any of Chuck Lorre's programs, then you must be familiar with the vanity cards that are aired at the end of each show. The following is from the most recent episode of Two and a Half Men:

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #329I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKG's and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.

If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.

Too funny.