Get well, Kirby!

Kirby Puckett suffered a stroke.

The 44-year-old Puckett, who led Minnesota to World Series titles in 1987 and 1991 and is a member of the Hall of Fame, was taken to a Scottsdale hospital.

"The Minnesota Twins and major league baseball ask fans to keep Kirby and his family in their thoughts and prayers," the team said in a statement.[...]

Puckett, who broke in with Minnesota in 1984, had a career batting average of .318. Glaucoma forced Puckett to retire in 1996 after 12 seasons with the Twins when he went blind in one eye.

I knew the LOD was after me! I support Tubby! Please do not fire him!

Natalie Portman is a much batter rapper than I am. Did you see that rap yesterday on Saturday Night Live. I will have my review up tomorrow when I watch it a second time.

Another press release from State Rep. Peter Sullivan:

State Rep. Peter Sullivan today voiced his support for an independent Office of Public Integrity.

"Congress has repeatedly shown that it is utterly incapable of enforcing its own ethics rules" said Sullivan. "It's clear that the time has come for an independent, non-partisan office to enforce ethics and lobbyist dosclosure rules."

Sullivan challenged incumbent congressman Jeb Bradley to support bipartisan legislation sponsored by Reps. Marty Meehan and Christopher Shays to establish such an oversight body.

"In the last few months, we've seen one member of Congress sentenced to a jail sentence, the House Majority Leader indicted by Texas prosecutors, and several others become the subject of federal criminal probes. Something is terribly wrong with the current process. We need an office that will investigate and act on ethics complaints in an honest and non-partisan manner."

"The most important duty facing those of us holding public office is to restore the public's faith in their government. I challenge Jeb Bradley to join me in backing legislation that helps restore that sense of trust."

Jon Stewart has his work cut out. Stephen Colbert had some advice to offer.

This could be a big one for Jon. After all, 10 [billion] to 15 billion people watch — 20 [billion], 100 billion people — watch the Oscars. And so this could be enormous for him. And if he fails, it could be terrible. This could be the end of his career.

I expect a lot of jokes on the war in Iraq, a lot of jokes on abortion. It's a funny word, like "guacamole." I say he'd probably do a lot of jokes on the refugees from Katrina.

Advice for Jon: Okay, first off, do not look Russell Crowe in the eye. He sees it as a challenge. Two, get drunk, but not too drunk — just fun drunk. Bring some hand sanitizer. A lot of people are going to want to shake your hand and you don't know where these stars have been.

Leave your mark on Hollywood. For instance, everybody calls Brad and Angelina Brangelina. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner already have the name Bennifer 2. But there's no name so far for William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman. I recommend Jon refer to them as Filliam H. Muffman, especially if she wins.

Democrats have options for a change this year and my option is John Yarmuth. I'll have that interview up as soon as I get it. The same goes for Eric Streit in the 1st district. Anyone from Chandler's office read this thing?

The Enquirer writes about George Clooney.

Of course, he is left of center.

The Lady Cats lost in the semifinals but they played one heck of a season and are on their way to the big dance.

The Cats loss has me depressed. But not depressed enough to write another rap. I'm a rock and roll guy. I should have some new stuff up as early as Tuesday.