Ted Kennedy roundup

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) made a song in tribute to the late senator, Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy.



Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell joined in offering a tribute.

“It is with great sadness that Elaine and I note the passing of Senator Ted Kennedy, one of the giants of American political life, a longtime Senate colleague, and a friend.

“No one could have known the man without admiring the passion and vigor he poured into a truly momentous life. We send our deepest expressions of sympathy to Vicki, his children, and the entire Kennedy family.”

Jim Bunning:

"I am saddened by the death of Senator Ted Kennedy. America has lost one of its great public servants. Senator Kennedy was a political icon who served with great distinction and passion for nearly a half century in the United States Senate and whether I agreed with him or not, I always admired the way he fought for the issues he believed in. He will be greatly missed. Mary and I give our heartfelt condolences to Vicki and the entire Kennedy family."

Neither John Yarmuth or Ben Chandler have any sort of statements on their congressional websites.

President Barack Obama:

Michelle and I were heartbroken to learn this morning of the death of our dear friend, Senator Ted Kennedy.

For five decades, virtually every major piece of legislation to advance the civil rights, health and economic well being of the American people bore his name and resulted from his efforts.

I valued his wise counsel in the Senate, where, regardless of the swirl of events, he always had time for a new colleague. I cherished his confidence and momentous support in my race for the Presidency. And even as he waged a valiant struggle with a mortal illness, I've profited as President from his encouragement and wisdom.

An important chapter in our history has come to an end. Our country has lost a great leader, who picked up the torch of his fallen brothers and became the greatest United States Senator of our time.

And the Kennedy family has lost their patriarch, a tower of strength and support through good times and bad.

Our hearts and prayers go out to them today--to his wonderful wife, Vicki, his children Ted Jr., Patrick and Kara, his grandchildren and his extended family.

Joe Biden (though the date shows August 23rd as the day of the statement):

Well, Mr. Secretary, thank you and your staff for the privilege of being with you today on what, as I prepared last night, was to be a joyous occasion, announcing another step in the direction of energy independence. And you said the President made a wise choice. The wisest choice the President made was asking you to be -- I mean that sincerely -- to be the Secretary to the Department of Energy. You've assembled a first-rate staff, and you've taken on a role that is going to be a -- is going to, in large part, determine the success of these next three-and-a-half years, whether or not we make a genuine dent, genuine progress in moving toward an energy policy that can help America lead the world in the 21st century as it did in the 20th century.

Some suggest we're trying to do too much. But my response is, is there any possibility of America leading the world in the 21st century without a radically altered energy policy? It is not possible. And that charge has been given to one of the most remarkable men to serve in a President's Cabinet, a Nobel laureate who is as articulate as he is obviously bright, and a man who has assembled a staff that can corral the bureaucracy -- and we're all -- deal with bureaucracy, we're all part of it -- in a way that I haven't seen in awhile.

And I had planned on speaking to the Clean Cities Program as one of the several initiatives we have to begin to reshape our energy policy. But as if Teddy were here, as we would say in the Senate, if you'd excuse a point of personal privilege, I quite frankly think it's -- would be inappropriate for me to dwell too much on the initiative that we're announcing today and not speak to my friend.

My wife Jill, and my sons Beau and Hunter, and my daughter Ashley -- and I don't say that lightly, because they all knew Teddy, he did something personal and special for each one of them in their lives -- truly, truly are distressed by his passing. And our hearts go out to Teddy Jr., and Patrick and Kara, and Vicki, with whom I spoke this morning, and the whole Kennedy family.

Teddy spent a lifetime working for a fair and more just America. And for 36 years, I had the privilege of going to work every day and literally, not figuratively sitting next to him, and being witness to history. Every single day the Senate was in session, I sat with him on the Senate floor in the same aisle. I sat with him on the Judiciary Committee next -- physically next to him. And I sat with him in the caucuses. And it was in that process, every day I was with him -- and this is going to sound strange -- but he restored my sense of idealism and my faith in the possibilities of what this country could do.

He and I were talking after his diagnosis. And I said, I think you're the only other person I've met, who like me, is more optimistic, more enthusiastic, more idealistic, sees greater possibilities after 36 years than when we were elected. He was 30 years-old when he was elected; I was 29 years-old. And you'd think that would be the peak of our idealism. But I genuinely feel more optimistic about the prospect for my country today than I did -- I have been any time in my life.

And it was infectious when you were with him. You could see it, those of you who knew him and those of you who didn't know him. You could just see it in the nature of his debate, in the nature of his embrace, in the nature of how he every single day attacked these problems. And, you know, he was never defeatist. He never was petty -- never was petty. He was never small. And in the process of his doing, he made everybody he worked with bigger -- both his adversaries as well as his allies.

Don't you find it remarkable that one of the most partisan, liberal men in the last century serving in the Senate had so many of his -- so many of his foes embracing him, because they know he made them bigger, he made them more graceful by the way in which he conducted himself.

You know, he changed the circumstances of tens of millions of Americans -- in the literal sense, literally -- literally changed the circumstances. He changed also another aspect of it as I observed about him -- he changed not only the physical circumstance, he changed how they looked at themselves and how they looked at one another. That's a remarkable, remarkable contribution for any man or woman to make. And for the hundreds, if not thousands, of us who got to know him personally, he actually -- how can I say it -- he altered our lives as well.

Through the grace of God and accident of history I was privileged to be one of those people and every important event in my adult life -- as I look back this morning and talking to Vicki -- every single one, he was there. He was there to encourage, to counsel, to be empathetic, to lift up. In 1972 I was a 29 year old kid with three weeks left to go in a campaign, him showing up at the Delaware Armory in the middle of what we called Little Italy -- who had never voted nationally by a Democrat -- I won by 3,100 votes and got 85 percent of the vote in that district, or something to that effect. I literally would not be standing here were it not for Teddy Kennedy -- not figuratively, this is not hyperbole -- literally.

He was there -- he stood with me when my wife and daughter were killed in an accident. He was on the phone with me literally every day in the hospital, my two children were attempting, and, God willing, thankfully survived very serious injuries. I'd turn around and there would be some specialist from Massachusetts, a doc I never even asked for, literally sitting in the room with me.

You know, it's not just me that he affected like that -- it's hundreds upon hundreds of people. I was talking to Vicki this morning and she said -- she said, "He was ready to go, Joe, but we were not ready to let him go."

He's left a great void in our public life and a hole in the hearts of millions of Americans and hundreds of us who were affected by his personal touch throughout our lives. People like me, who came to rely on him. He was kind of like an anchor. And unlike many important people in my 38 years I've had the privilege of knowing, the unique thing about Teddy was it was never about him. It was always about you. It was never about him. It was people I admire, great women and men, at the end of the day gets down to being about them. With Teddy it was never about him.

Well, today we lost a truly remarkable man. To paraphrase Shakespeare: I don't think we shall ever see his like again. I think the legacy he left is not just in the landmark legislation he passed, but in how he helped people look at themselves and look at one another.

I apologize for us not being able to go into more detail about the energy bill, but I just think for me, at least, it was inappropriate today. And I'm sure there will be much more that will be said about my friend and your friend, but -- he changed the political landscape for almost half a century. I just hope -- we say blithely, you know, we'll remember what we did. I just hope we'll remember how he treated other people and how he made other people look at themselves and look at one another. That will be the truly fundamental, unifying legacy of Teddy Kennedy's life if that happens -- and it will for a while, at least in the Senate.

Mr. Secretary, you and your staff are doing an incredible job. I look forward to coming back at a happier moment when you are announcing even more consequential progress toward putting us back in a position where once again can control our own economic destiny.

Thank you all very, very much.

Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy dead at 77

"For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."--Ted Kennedy, August 11, 1980.

Teddy may no longer be with us but his legacy lives on with the Kennedy family, the work he did in the Senate, and all those whose lives he had an impact on. My thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends, and constituents. May he rest in peace

Pat O'Brien hired by SNL

In SNL news, they've made some hirings for their writing staff. One of the additions is Pat O'Brien, who was most recently seen at Second City appearing in the revue, America: All Better! O'Brien's final show was last Wednesday night.

Examiner:

Michael Patrick O’Brien, is now starring in the Second City production, ‘America All Better!,’ in the windy city, but will be heading to New York in the fall to write for NBC’s 35th season of SNL.

O’Brien performed with the Second City touring company and the iO team the Reckoning before joining the show’s cast. According to the Chicago Sun Times, O’Brien teamed with Peter Grosz, a writer with the famed ‘Colbert Report’ in a widely praised iO sketch group entitled Misled.

Charna broke the rules when Lorne Michaels was here to audition Chicago improvisers. For SNL's sake, I'm glad she did. See here.

Any time "Saturday Night Live" head man Lorne Michaels visits Chicago on a talent-scouting trip, he has one rule with iO founder Charna Halpern: Don't showcase an actor Michaels has already flown out to audition.

Halpern broke that rule when the "SNL" crew visited several weeks ago. She put up Michael Patrick O'Brien, an actor who performs with The Reckoning at iO and on Second City's Main Stage, in the showcase's opening slot.

"I thought long and hard about it and decided that if Lorne didn't hire [O'Brien] before, it was because he didn't get to see enough," Halpern said. "Lorne and Seth [Meyers] said they were glad I broke the rule."

O'Brien now has two weeks to pack for New York City, where he'll join "Saturday Night Live" as a writer.

"It's one of the reasons we all sign up for that first improv class," O'Brien said, "to be on that show one day."[...]

After the iO talent showcase in late July, O'Brien was flown out to audition at 30 Rockefeller Plaza. O'Brien stood on the same monologue stage as Will Ferrell, Bill Murray and Gilda Radner, and performed his "5 minutes" -- the standard set of characters and impersonations sketch comedians prepare.

Tim Baltz has since been promoted to Mainstage.

Pat can be found in Pratkour:

B.J. Novak speaks on Jewish comedy

A.V. Club:

AVC: Have you always wanted to be a comedy writer?

BJN: I always wanted to be a writer. I took for granted that I was funny, because I was in a funny family. I didn’t think being funny was a great skill. I thought I would rather be cool, I would rather be great at baseball or something. I thought being funny was just like your eye color or how tall you were. When I looked more strategically at how I would become a writer, I thought comedy would be my way in, and then I’d gravitate toward whatever I really wanted to write, in the end. The more I did it, the more special it felt, and the more bored I felt writing things that didn’t have comedy. And also, I think people underrate comedy’s relation to the rest of writing. Star Trek was a movie this summer where the secret ingredient was wit. And you don’t necessarily have to be writing a comedy to benefit from good comedy writing. The Office is less a comedy than so many other “comedies” that have been on the air. It’s really about the balance between what is real and what is comic. Now I’m going on a tangent, but I started out thinking comedy would be my path to writing, and then as I got into that, I realized, “Well, either this is my calling or it’s all comedy,” or something like that.[...]

AVC: Your father literally wrote the book on Jewish comedy. Growing up, did you have a sense of the distinction between Jewish comedy and non-Jewish comedy?

BJN: I maybe thought I did. [Laughs.] But I don’t think so. I would read his book, The Big Book Of Jewish Humor, and I gravitated toward certain things that I think I could academically explain why I think they’re more Jewish humor than other things. But what I really took out of the book is, it had a lot of my favorite jokes in it.

AVC: One of the jokes from your stand-up act—“I was a double major: psychology and reverse psychology”—particularly sounds like a Woody Allen line.

BJN: I’m not an expert in other forms of comedy, so I don’t really know, but I do think something classic Jewish humor has as a thread is logic at the center. And what I was saying before about what I love about Michael in particular—and I don’t think the character’s being written with this in mind, it might just be something pre-existing about the character that I gravitate toward—is that there is such an elegance to the logic of a character like that, who sees the world that makes perfect sense from one angle, and is utterly absurd from another.

That's an interesting way to go green...

This comes via the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

The spots urge citizens there to save water — by urinating in the shower.

The group, SOS Mata Atlantica, estimates that each household in Brazil could conserve 1,157 gallons of water annually by avoiding one flush a day.

The humorous spots, which are narrated by children, feature cartoon drawings of people from all walks of life — a basketball player, trapeze artist and even an alien — urinating in the shower.

The ads wrap with: "Pee in the shower! Save the Atlantic rainforest!"

No word yet on whether the flush-reducing movement is heading north to the United States.

But if it does, and if you see someone "going green" in the shower at your local gym, here's a fact worth knowing.

While peeing in the shower may sound sickening, experts maintain that from a health and safety standpoint, it's not.

"It's fine because urine is sterile. We have no bacteria or viruses in our urine, which is why if patients aren't feeling well, we can culture it," says Donna Duberg, assistant professor of clinical laboratory science at St. Louis University. "Plus, water from the shower and toilet end up in the same sewer line."

For years, people have used urine in unusual ways. Holistic experts swear that urinating on the feet will cure athlete's foot — a fungal infection. And Duberg points out that if urine is safe to drink — which a number of websites recommend for healthfulness — it's certainly safe to have squirting near your legs while the water is running in a shower.

I wonder if this will catch on in the states...

Bandslam

Contrary to the poor marketing for the movie, Bandslam, it's actually rather good. It's a music-driven comedy with an indie feel to it. I enjoyed it.

DHD has more on the mishap of the marketing department at Walden Media/Summit Entertainment. Here's an excerpt from a Bandslam insider that was on DHD:

Isn't there a story here? Death by marketing? A movie that gets 80% positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes -- 90% from top critics -- won't see the light of day because Summit consistently made some of the worst choices, and their core audience summarily dismissed the movie without seeing it based on their sale.

Start off with the fact that they chose BANDSLAM for a title instead of WILL. They thought WILL was too indie. But that’s what made this movie special. It was an indie voice wrapped up in a high concept. So, instead of selling it quirky and cool (a la Juno) they sold it on the Disney channel's Vanessa Hudgens and Aly Milchaka. Instead of selling the concept, band of outcasts like The Commitments, they Disneyfied this movie with glitter paint. So what is an ironic, smart script with a killer soundtrack was sold like High School Musical meets Phil Of The Future. Instead of embracing it for its quirky-ness, for its unique voice (Will, the lead, calls high school “Guantanamo Bay with a lunch period”) they flattened it out so it looked like everything else. There have been literally dozens and dozens of calls today and e-mails from heads of marketing at different studios saying this may be singly the worst job they've ever seen on a movie whose unique voice deserved to be heard through positioning, title, marketing tie-ins, and knowing your audience. But Rob Freidman and Summit infantalized their audience. They presumed that since HSM was a hit, and the same star was in their movie singing, they should just sell it the same way.

The movie did so poorly this weekend at the box office but it recieved great reviews. Over at Rotten Tomatoes, the movie has a rating of 81% on the tomatometer. Top critics combined for 89% with 16 fresh reviews. T-Meter critics had 81% with 66 fresh reviews.

The consensus:

Bandslam is an intelligent teen film that avoids teen film cliches, in an entertaining package of music and coming-of-age drama.

Do yourself a favor and go see this movie. You won't regret it.

Memoir title leaked....

Sarah Palin's memoir will be titled 500 Days of Winter, or How I Learned to Embrace the Polar Bear.

Wish me luck...

After six long years, the day has finally come. I will be auditioning for the conservatory program at SC next month. Wish me luck!

During the summer of 2003 when Bob Hope died, I checked out his book "Don't Shoot, It's Only Me!" from Louisville Free Public Library(an abbreviation I don't find myself saying all too much if any). After reading it, I gave thought to pursuing a career in stand-up, so I jotted some jokes down in a notebook and typed them up thereafter.

During the end of October, during Parents' Weekend at Bradley, my brother was scrolling through the student activities list on the Bradley website. I glanced over and saw there was an improv troupe. Being a big fan of SNL, and I have seen Whose Line many times, I decided to that I would start rehearsing with the troupe. I asked around to see if anyone knew anything about it. Just my luck, my RA was one of the founders.

The rest as they say is history...well, Ronald Reagan's death got me sidetracked but that led to getting in touch with then State Treasurer Jonathan Miller. So all through the fall of 2004, I was busy with helping out with the elections in Northern Kentucky.

Spring 2005 comes and it's an off year so I started a late night comedy talk show on campus in the style of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. That show lasted six episodes and sadly, all the footage is lost to this day. It sucks, too, because I scooped every one on Trey Grayson's decision to run for re-election for Secretary of State.

The year, 2005, was an off year in Kentucky politics for the most part.

Jack Black hosted SNL in December with musical guest Neil Young. That episode featured the digital short that changed the world: Lazy Sunday. I got the urge to start performing improv again. Then I find out that Mark Feuerstein and some friends made the west coast response, Lazy Monday. You guessed it, I started writing the lyrics to Lazy Tuesday.

So January 2006, I go into preproduction and start writing the lyrics.

On February 27, 2006, the world was forever changed as Lazy Tuesday entered the world wide web.

Over a year agao, I moved to Chicago to start taking classes at Second City. True, the economy has not been as cooperative as I would have preferred but when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. I guess that's what one would do.

I started improv classes this year and I will finally be auditioning for the Conservatory next month.

Here's a nice quote from Dan Aykroyd from Live from New York: "Oh listen, I’m a big fan of the show today. I look at Second City as being the B.A. program in comedy and improv and writing, and I look at Saturday Night Live as the masters program. And then after that point in life, you get your Ph.D. in whatever you go into. So I would say I probably have enough knowledge to teach a graduate-level course in film production now."

Were you expecting a big political news story?

Bayh on Climate Change

Evan Bayh is showing Barack Obama the problem that he has.

“Most senators aren't sheep.”

That may go down as Sen. Evan Bayh's most famous quotation.

It certainly encapsulates President Barack Obama's dilemma in trying to get a climate-change bill through Congress: He doesn't have all the Democrats firmly on board.

Bayh made his much-quoted observation in the context of whether he would block a filibuster if the underlying bill were something he disagreed with. His point was that he would take the matter on a case-by-case basis.

But the Hoosier's warning about independence applies to climate-change legislation and is now underscored by a recent letter he and nine other Democratic senators sent to the White House.

Bayh is seen as a critical, and by no means sure, vote on energy and climate-change legislation.

“As Congress considers energy and climate legislation, it is important that such a bill include provisions to maintain a level playing field for American manufacturing,” the senators wrote. “We must not engage in a self-defeating effort that displaces greenhouse gas emissions rather than reducing them and displaces U.S. jobs rather than bolstering them. Domestic manufacturers and the workers they employ can and must play a vital role in our nation's clean energy future.”

Twice considered as a possible Democratic vice presidential running mate and nearly a candidate for president last time, Bayh is navigating tricky political terrain as he approaches seeking re-election to a third term next year.

Indiana depends on coal for electricity. And, while many people may not realize it, the state has coal mines, too.

Coal, of course, is a leading cause of carbon emissions, which are targeted in the climate legislation passed by the House.

Bayh recently told Politico that he is concerned that Americans not be asked to make sacrifices that other major industrial (and polluting) nations such as China and India will not make.

“To ask the people of my state and our country to go through a lot of changes without meeting the goal we're trying to accomplish is not a place where we want to end up,” Bayh said.

He and the nine other senators wrote Obama that “any climate change legislation must prevent the export of jobs and related greenhouse gas emissions to countries that fail to take actions to combat the threat of global warming comparable to those taken by the United States.”

Look for Bayh to continue to play a central role in the climate-change debate when the Senate takes up the issue this fall.

Listen, I want the climate change crisis solved as much as anyone else does. At the same time, we can't force more Americans out of business during a slumping economy when there are more people that are unemployed than there are jobs available. The last thing we need right now is to send more Americans overseas.

I trust that Evan Bayh is doing the right thing.

Revised SEC media credential policy

Here's the section on blogging:

Blogging
No Bearer may produce or disseminate in any form a “real-time” description or transmission of the Event in any manner that constitutes, or is intended to provide or is promoted or marketed as, a substitute for television or video coverage of such Event. Periodic updates of scores, statistics or other brief descriptions of the competition throughout the Event are acceptable provided that the Bearer conforms to the blogging policies separately published by the SEC, as such policies may be revised from time to time. Bearer agrees that the determination of whether a blog is a real-time description or transmission shall be made by the SEC in its sole discretion. If the SEC deems that a Bearer is producing a real-time description of the Event, the SEC reserves the right to pursue all available remedies against the Bearer including but not limited to the revocation of this Credential.

LINK

Major News on Monday

Stay tuned...

Quote of the Day

"UPS and FedEx are doing just fine. It's the Post Office that's always having problems."
--President Barack Obama, New Hampshire Town Hall Meeting, August 11, 2009

LINK
LINK

Ramsey, Jurich issue statements

No comments on the moral clause in the employment contract though.

C-J:

Prepared statements from U of President James Ramsey and Athletic Director Tom Jurich were distributed at the press conference.

“Regardless of the truth or falsehood of specific actions that have been attributed to the coach, he's clearly made errors in judgment that have come under intense public scrutiny. We can't ignore these errors in judgment, and the have saddened and disappointed me. As we try to teach our students, when you make a mistake, you admit it and right it as best you can.

“Coach has done that today,” Ramsey said in the statement. “We hope this closes this chapter; we're all ready to move on.”

Jurich's statement said: “I'm a million percent behind him … I expect Coach Pitino to be the head coach at the University of Louisville for a long time.

Jonathan Miller endorses Jack Conway for United States Senate

I just saw this on the facebook newsfeed under Jonathan's fan page.

Why I Am Supporting Jack Conway for the US Senate
By Jonathan Miller

Today, I am proud to announce that I am officially endorsing Attorney General Jack Conway in the 2010 race for the United States Senate in Kentucky.

We’ve decided to use an unusual approach to announce this endorsement. No formal stand-up press conference or paper releases. Instead, we are using a combination of Twitter, Facebook, the blogosphere, and email blasts to get the word out.

There is a message to this method.

This election is about who will lead the next generation of Kentuckians. This is a generation proficient in the new technologies of our Internet age. It is a generation committed to the timeless instruction to “love your neighbor as yourself.” And it is also a generation that is deeply committed to the future of our country: a return to a robust economy, access to affordable health care, respect for the great diversity of all Americans, and a commitment to our stewardship role to the planet.

I believe that Jack Conway is the right person to lead this next generation.

I am endorsing Jack Conway for the United States Senate because I believe he is the most qualified person to represent Kentucky in Washington. Jack’s record of protecting Kentucky children from cybercrimes, Kentucky seniors from elder abuse, and Kentucky’s consumers from fraud demonstrates his ability to tackle 21st century problems with traditional Kentucky values. That is why we need Jack Conway in the United States Senate, and why I am dedicated to helping him win.

I am very fortunate to be personal friends with all three major candidates in this race. I have been pleased to work with Lt. Governor Daniel Mongiardo in the Beshear Administration and proud that my endorsement in the 2007 race played a role in helping him secure that position. I know that he is a man who sincerely and passionately wants to make our home state an even better place for our children. I have known Secretary of State Trey Grayson since I served as his teaching assistant nearly two decades ago when he was an undergraduate at Harvard. He is a man of character and integrity who, like me, married way “up”—his wife Nancy is simply a wonderful human being.

But this race is not about personality and friendship. It is about vision and values. And I believe that Jack Conway has the best vision and the right values to lead Kentucky as a United States Senator. And significantly, Jack Conway will best represent the future of Kentucky – the next generation, Lisa and my two daughters, and his and Elizabeth’s new baby girl, Eva – through the challenges and opportunities of the 21st century.

Rick Pitino, Please Resign

Any respect that I gained back for Coach Rick Pitino following the public memorial service for the late Bill Keightley is gone following the news that broke last night.

What he did was wrong and he should resign.

Here's an excerpt from his employment contract.

6.1.2 Disparaging media publicity of a material nature that damages the good name and reputation of Employer or University, if such publicity is caused by Employee’s willful misconduct that could objectively be anticipated to bring Employee into public disrepute or scandal, or which tends to greatly offend the public, or any class thereof on the basis of invidious distinction.[...]

6.1.4 Employee's dishonesty with Employer or University; or acts of moral depravity; or conviction of a felony or employment or drug-related misdemeanor; or intoxication or being under the influence of a psychoactive substance when performing duties under this contract, when student athletes are present, when attending scheduled public events or appearances, or during media contacts.

These are grounds for firing. But will they fire him? I doubt it.

RIP: Eunice Kennedy Shriver

My thoughts and prayers are with the Kennedy and Shriver families on the passing of Eunice Kennedy Shriver. May she rest in peace.

A John Huges Montage

Hattip to AICN.

Board Games and Toys mean Money for Hollywood

With Hasbro, we've now seen the release of Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and most recently, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

With the board games and other card games, we've seen Clue: The Movie. Upcoming projects include Battleship (2011), Monopoly (in development), Candy Land, and Ouija to name a few.

But this one, I don't get, the View-Master.

It was recently announced that Transformers and Star Trek writers Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci will be producing a film for DreamWorks based on the View-Master, the decades-old Fisher-Price/Mattel toy.[...]

"It's funny," Kurtzman says. "When we signed on to do Transformers, there was this incredibly cynical reaction to the idea that, 'Oh, it's just a toy line.' And I would hope that by now, people would know we would never walk into something if we didn't actually have a real story behind it. Without giving away any details about the story, certain toys should never be movies -- and certain toys should be. And I think we spent a lot of time talking about the difference between those."

"And it wasn't born in sin," Orci adds. "What happened was we had a friend who wrote on Fringe, Brad Caleb Kane, who had a pitch that he wanted to do this movie. He wasn't even thinking of View-Master. And then our company got a look at it and thought, 'We could actually connect this with View-Master,' who we know happens to be looking [for a movie idea]. So it wasn't like, 'Let's come up with a View-Master movie!' There was a great idea … there and it was perfect to marry with View-Master."

As for the fact that unlike G.I. Joe or the Transformers, the View-Master is not a character… well, the producers aren't too stressed about that.

"It depends on how you define character," Kurtzman says. "Because some characters are obviously human. Other characters are… The Enterprise is a character in Star Trek. But the Enterprise never speaks."

Well...

This week took a major hit with the tragic loss of John Hughes. Hughes was a filmmaker that defined a generation. Just look at his resume.

In other entertainment news, Judd Apatow spoke to the San Francisco Chronicle.

Q: What was the best advice you got?

A: That it would take seven years to become a good stand-up comedian. I think that was from Jerry Seinfeld. ... I was writing jokes for comedians to pay my rent, because I wasn't making any money doing stand-up. So I started selling jokes, and that turned into longer-term gigs writing people's acts with them. I wrote Roseanne's act for a year.[...]

Q: Most directors have six or seven projects on deck in their Imdb.com page. Yours is pretty much blank.

A: I've made an effort to slow down. We're shooting a movie called "Get Him to the Greek," which Nick Stoller wrote and directed and stars Jonah Hill and Russell Brand and P Diddy, Colm Meaney, Elisabeth Moss and Rose Byrne. That's shooting until the end of the summer, and then I don't have anything lined up.

Q: Your kids are in "Funny People." Are they allowed to see "Funny People"?

A: Actually, I am. I asked the editor to cut out everything bad in the movie that my 11-year-old can't see. So I have to look at it and see if it's OK.

Tim Meadows will forever be the Ladies' Man.

Tina Fey, doyenne of "30 Rock," also wrote and played your love interest in "Mean Girls." Are you still in touch?

Occasionally. I have talked to Tina, but through other people. Like, she'll send a message to me but through somebody else. ... You work with people for a long time and, you know, when you're away from them, you forget how well you guys got along, and then when you see them again, it's like no time has passed at all. Working on "Grown Ups" has been great because I've been friends with Adam and Chris Rock and Spade and Schneider and Colin Quinn for a long time, but yet I hadn't seen them all in years or months or whatever. I've been here for a week and it's totally back to the way it used to be.

Meet Aubrey Plaza.

"I went literally from doing nothing to getting all three in the same week," Plaza said. "It's kind of a crazy story, how all this stuff happened to me."[...]

Even before landing her role in "Funny People," Plaza, 25, was already working her way up the comedy food chain. A self-described "comedy nerd," she left her native Delaware for New York University in part to be near the Upright Citizens Brigade theater, a popular breeding group for young performers. She was an intern at "Saturday Night Live" before moving on to being an actual NBC page. She appeared in a series of online videos, including the popular faux-soccer-mom talk show "The Jeannie Tate Show." She can also be seen in the independent film "Mystery Team," which will be released in the fall.

Library damages

From the CJ:

The Main Library that was heavily damaged by Tuesday's flooding will remain closed until at least Labor Day.

And even then, the best hope is to get one floor open and have limited operations, using emergency mechanical systems, said Craig Buthod, Louisville Free Public Library director.

The Main Library at Third and York streets remained dark Thursday, after a fire Wednesday morning knocked out power throughout the entire facility. Buthod said library officials hoped to have power restored by Friday morning.

Buthod stood by his estimate of damage at the Main Library of $5 million, including about 50,000 books, dozens of computers, four elevators, three bookmobiles, extensive furniture and finishings, and all or most of the building's boilers, chillers, air handlers and other mechanical systems. Library computers system-wide remained out of commission.

Most of the 4 feet of water that flooded the basement had been pumped out by Thursday afternoon. Buthod said water Tuesday morning poured in from at least four places — down a ramp and into a garage, down elevator shafts from roof drains, through window wells and from backed up sewers. He said alarms sounded again and again but the rainwater “simply came in too quick.”

“I saw water go from 4 inches to 36 inches in less than 15 minutes,” Buthod said of the flooding.

John Hughes dead at 59

The movie director, John Hughes, died of a heart attack at the age of 59.

Hughes wrote the first three Home Alone movies, the first 5 Beethoven movies, National Lampoon's Vacation, National Lampoon's European Vacation, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Pretty in Pink, Uncle Buck, and most recently, the story for Drillbit Taylor, to name a few.

He directed the following:
Curly Sue (1991), Uncle Buck (1989), She's Having a Baby (1988), Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987), Ferris Bueller's Day Off(1986), Weird Science (1985), The Breakfast Club (1985), and Sixteen Candles (1984).

John Hughes was to the 1980s what Judd Apatow is to this decade.

Developing...

Please Vote!

Please vote for my cousin! You can vote once a day!

Release the List

Home Run King Hank Aaron wants the list released.

Hank Aaron wants the list of players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003 to be released.

In a wide-ranging interview Tuesday night with The Associated Press, the Hall of Famer said releasing the list would help Major League Baseball get past the so-called "Steroid Era." The list was supposed to remain anonymous and is now under court seal, but big names have continued to leak out.

"I wish for once and forever that we could come out and say we have 100 and some names, name them all and get it over and let baseball go on," the former home run king said. "I don't know how they keep leaking out. I just wish that they would name them all and get it over with."

Aaron also wanted to make a few other things clear.

No, he has not spoken with commissioner Bud Selig about banned Pete Rose being reinstated in baseball. But he does think it's time Rose, the career hits leader, be reinstated and voted into the Hall of Fame.

Rose agreed to a lifetime ban from baseball in 1989 after an investigation concluded he bet on the Cincinnati Reds to win while he was manager of the team.

"How long does a person have to die?" Aaron said. "I think the thing that bothers me is that he is missing out on a lot of things. He made a mistake. I don't know what else can be done, or what else can be said. I just think at some point he needs to start enjoying being a Hall of Famer."

Mother Nature likes Louisville in the water

What is it with Louisville that Mother Nature hates so much?!?

Three times in one year. Wind Storm. Ice Storm. Flash Flood.

A record amount of rainfall was dumped on Louisville on Tuesday.

A massive storm that forecasters had predicted would largely bypass Louisville instead dumped a record 6.5 inches of rain Tuesday morning, spawning flash flooding that filled streets, stranded motorists and knocked out electricity to thousands.

No deaths or serious injuries were reported, but emergency workers rescued nearly 200 people from the tops of cars and houses as water rose too fast for them to escape.

A second storm Tuesday afternoon dropped another inch of rain, causing more flooding.
“We just had entirely too much rain in too short a time,” said Bud Schardein, executive director of Louisville's Metropolitan Sewer District. “The system has just been overwhelmed.”

Floodwaters poured into homes and basements and engulfed Louisville's main public library, several area hospitals, horse barns at Churchill Downs and the University of Louisville campus, where some workers had to be rescued by boat.

And the problems may not be over, with more rain in the forecast.

“Any additional rain that's going to fall will add to the flash flooding,” Schardein said.[...]

About 20,000 LG&E customers lost power. Extra crews were brought in to deal with the outages, but officials said they might not get all power restored until Wednesday.

Thousands of books were destroyed by flooding at the Main Library downtown at Third and York streets, with preliminary damage estimated at $1million, Abramson said.

Ten kittens and a dog at the Metro Animal Services shelter on Manslick Road drowned when the building flooded. Officials evacuated 500 animals to the Kentucky Exposition Center.

A Northwest Airlink flight to Detroit from Knoxville, Tenn., had to land at Louisville International Airport about 6 p.m. Tuesday after a flight attendant and one passenger were injured by turbulence from a lingering storm system.

Abramson said that emergency officials responded quickly, and he took weather forecasters to task for indicating the storm would be less severe than it was.
“We've had the worst rainstorm ever in this community in a one-hour period,” Abramson said.

He added that the city probably will ask the state to seek federal disaster designation — which would make the city eligible for federal aid, including low-interest loans for homeowners to repair storm damage.

“I think you're going to see a lot of basements flooded,” Schardein said.

Gov. Steve Beshear pledged to provide “any and all assistance requested” to Louisville.

More rain is expected Wednesday but “hopefully, nothing like we went through,” said Mike Callahan with the National Weather Service in Louisville.[...]

It could have been much worse had MSD not made the upgrades that it did make after the flood of 1997.

The Derby Museum took a beating after it underwent a renovation.

Wendy Treinen, the director of communications, said the museum will be closed until at least Sunday, although tours of Churchill Downs and the backside will continue out of the track's Gate 1. She said there is no way yet to tell the extent of the damage to its historical collections, including books and research papers.

"We have a major mess on our hands," she said. "The sewer problem on the main floor through all the exhibit space, it's going to be a real problem for us and it's going to take some time."

Museum executive director Lynn Ashton and chief operating officer Sherry Crose said 30 people stood in water well over their ankles to form a human chain to get the historical collections to a higher floor or onto tables or higher shelves. The work was made harder after the elevator went out as the building lost power. Work continued until the light from the back-up generator ran out of power, they said.
Ashton said the basement had just undergone a $200,000 renovation and new shelving. She said boxes of merchandise for the gift shop were damaged, but the emphasis was on saving the irreplaceable.

"Everything on the floor level we were able to save," Ashton said late Tuesday afternoon as she waded through the basement with a flashlight to show the damage. "We just had a chain going. We'd go in one area and it was 'take it down, take it down, take it down'…. We were on a mission to save everything.'"

She said she didn't think they had lost anything of historical value but that some items sustained water damage and there is the worry of mold and mildew.

Buy this book!

And Here's the Kicker... comes to you from Vanity Fair's Mike Sacks.

You know you want to read it. Go inside the writer's room!

PGA to come back to Louisville

The PGA is coming back to Valhalla!

The PGA of America is expected to announce Thursday morning that it will stage two major events Louisville's Valhalla Golf Club within the next five years.

The events are the 2011 Senior PGA Championship and the 2014 PGA Championship, one of golf's four major annual tournaments.

Both events previously have been held at Valhalla, which also was the site of the Ryder Cup matches between American and European pros in September 2008. The news conference will be held at the Valhalla course off Shelbyville Road in eastern Jefferson County at 9 a.m.[...]

The letter said that at the news conference “the PGA will announce the 2011 Senior PGA championship and the 2014 PGA Championship (are) coming to Valhalla Golf Club. … PGA President Jim Remy, PGA CEO Joe Steranka and several other PGA officials and special guests will be in attendance. …”

The PGA sent invitations to the news conference last week, but PGA officials and officials of the Louisville Convention & Visitors Bureau, Greater Louisville Inc., the local chamber of commerce, and other agencies have remained tight lipped about the announcement in recent days.

“We've all heard the rumors,” said Carmen Hickerson, spokeswoman for Greater Louisville Inc., specifically mentioning talk of the senior event. “We love the PGA. It would be fabulous news,” about any major event coming to Valhalla. Local organizers estimated the Ryder Cup had a $120 million economic impact on the community.

Tisha B'Av

From sundown tonight to sundown tomorrow night, Jews around the world will be mourning in observance of Tisha B'Av, the 9th day of Av.

Historically, everything bad that has happened to the Jewish people has happened on the 9th day of the Jewish month of Av.

Here are the big five incidents:

◦During the time of Moses, Jews in the desert accepted the slanderous report of the 10 Spies, and the decree was issued forbidding them from entering the Land of Israel. (1312 BCE)

◦The First Temple was destroyed by the Babylonians, led by Nebuchadnezzar. 100,000 Jews were slaughtered and millions more exiled. (586 BCE)

◦The Second Temple was destroyed by the Romans, led by Titus. Some two million Jews died, and another one million were exiled. (70 CE)

◦The Bar Kochba revolt was crushed by Roman Emperor Hadrian. The city of Betar -- the Jews' last stand against the Romans -- was captured and liquidated. Over 100,000 Jews were slaughtered. (135 CE)

◦The Temple area and its surroundings were plowed under by the Roman general Turnus Rufus. Jerusalem was rebuilt as a pagan city -- renamed Aelia Capitolina -- and access was forbidden to Jews.

Other misfortunes:

1.The Spanish Inquisition culminated with the expulsion of Jews from Spain on Tisha B'Av in 1492.

2.World War One broke out on the eve of Tisha B'Av in 1914 when Germany declared war on Russia. German resentment from the war set the stage for the Holocaust.

3.On the eve of Tisha B'Av 1942, the mass deportation began of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto, en route to Treblinka.

The laws of Tisha B'Av go into effect at sundown tonight:

Upon sundown, the laws of Tisha B'Av commence -- consisting of the following expressions of mourning:

1. No eating or drinking until nightfall the following evening.
-Pregnant and nursing women are also required to fast. If one suspects it could be harmful to the baby or mother, a rabbi should be consulted.
-A woman within 30 days after birth need not fast.
-Others who are old, weak, or ill should consult with a rabbi. (MB 554:11)
-Medicine may be taken on Tisha B'Av, preferably without water.
-In case of great discomfort, the mouth may be rinsed with water. Great care should be taken not to swallow anything. (MB 567:11)

2. Other prohibitions include:
-Any bathing or washing, except for removing specific dirt -- e.g. gook in the eyes (OC 554:9, 11). (Upon rising in the morning, before prayers, or after using the bathroom, one washes only the fingers. See OC 554:10, OC 613:3, MB 554:26)
-Anointing oneself for pleasure. (Deodorant is permitted.)
-Having marital relations.
-Wearing leather shoes. (Leather belts may be worn.)(see: ?Laws of Shoes and Chairs?)
-Learning Torah, since this is a joyful activity. It is permitted to learn texts relevant to Tisha B'Av and mourning -- e.g. the Book of Lamentations, Book of Job, parts of Tractate Moed Katan, Gittin 56-58, Sanhedrin 104, Yerushalmi end of Ta'anis, and the Laws of Mourning. In-depth study should be avoided. (MB 554:4)

3. Other mourning practices include:
-Sitting no higher than a foot off the ground. After midday, one may sit on a chair. (OC 559:3)(see: "Laws of Shoes and Chairs")
-Not engaging in business or other distracting labors, unless it will result in a substantial loss. (OC 554:24)
-Refraining from greeting others or offering gifts. (OC 554:20)
-Avoiding idle chatter or leisure activities.
-Following Tisha B'Av, all normal activities may be resumed, except for the following which are delayed until midday of the 10th of Av, because the burning of the Temple continued through the 10th of Av:
-Haircuts and washing clothes. (When Tisha B'Av falls out on Thursday, these are permitted immediately following Tisha B'Av, in honor of the coming Shabbat.)
-Bathing. (When Tisha B'Av falls out on Thursday, bathing is permitted on Friday morning.)
-Eating meat and wine.
-Music and swimming.

Jim Bunning Not Running for Re-Election

Senator Jim Bunning, a member of the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, announced that he will not run for re-election. When told of his decision, Bunning said, "Strike 3! You're out!"

Steve Beshear-Jerry Abramson 2011

It's official. Mongiardo has been removed from the ticket. He'll be replaced, officially on Monday, by Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson.

An excerpt from the email that was sent out:

A global economic crisis and a series of unforeseen natural disasters have presented Kentucky with one challenge after another in the 19 months that I've been governor.

But with a steady hand, my administration is helping the state survive with a strategy that combines short-term help with long-term thinking:

*We've ratcheted back spending, just like our families have done, to make government leaner and more effective.

*We've preserved critical priorities in education, health care and public safety.

*We're reached out to vulnerable populations in need across the state.

*And, as showed by the economic development initiatives we persuaded the General Assembly to adopt in the recent special legislative session, we've focused on attracting good-paying jobs for our people.

*All the while, we have toughened ethics standards, expanded health insurance to more children and positioned Kentucky as a leader in the national energy issues of the future.

But there remains much to be done.

That's why on Monday, at 9 a.m. at the Berry Hill Mansion in Frankfort, I will be announcing my intention to run for re-election as governor of the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

At the same time, I will be introducing Louisville Mayor Jerry Abramson as my running mate.

Jerry is a leader of stature who has a proven record of accomplishment, particularly in economic development. He has worked tirelessly on behalf of the state's largest city. Now he intends to do the same on behalf of the entire state.

Jerry will serve out his term as mayor. At the same time, he will be traveling around Kentucky to hear input on how, in my second term, the Beshear/Abramson team can improve what state government does for you.

That, my friends, is exciting.

2009 Emmy Nominations for the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards

Here are the nominations for the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards to be televised by CBS on September 20, 2009. The host will be Neil Patrick Harris, a nominee for outstanding supporting actor in a comedy. The Creative Arts awards will be handed out one day earlier on September 19, 2009. This is also the same weekend of Rosh HaShanah.

But anyway, here are the main awards

Outstanding Supporting Actor, Comedy
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Rainn Wilson, The Office
Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men

Outstanding Supporting Actress, Comedy
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty

Outstanding Supporting Actor, Drama
William Shatner, Boston Legal
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal
William Hurt, Damages
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Michael Emerson, Lost
John Slattery, Mad Men

Outstanding Supporting Actress, Drama
Cherry Jones, 24
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Dianne Wiest, In Treatment
Hope Davis, In Treatment
Rose Byrne, Damages

Outstanding Actress, Mini-series or Movie
Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens
Jessica Lange, Grey Gardens
Shirley MacLaine, Coco Chanel
Sigourney Weaver, Prayers for Bobby
Chandra Wilson, Accidental Friendship

Outstanding Supporting Actor, Mini-series or Movie
Len Cariou, Into the Storm
Tom Courtenay, Little Dorrit
Ken Howard, Grey Gardens
Bob Newhart, The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice
Andy Serkis, Little Dorrit

Outstanding Supporting Actress, Miniseries or Movie
Shohreh Aghdashloo, House of Saddam
Marcia Gay Harden, The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler
Janet McTeer, Into the Storm
Cicely Tyson, Relative Stranger
Jeanne Tripplehorn, Grey Gardens

Outstanding Miniseries
Generation Kill
Little Dorrit

Outstanding Actor, Mini-series or Movie
Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance
Kenneth Branagh, Wallander: One Step Behind
Brendan Gleeson, Into the Storm
Kevin Kline, Cyrano de Bergerac
Sir Ian McKellen, King Lear
Kiefer Sutherland, 24: Redemption

Outstanding Actor, Comedy
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Steve Carell, The Office
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Jemaine Clement, Flight of the Conchords

Outstanding Actress, Drama
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Glenn Close, Damages
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men

Outstanding Actor, Drama
Simon Baker, The Mentalist
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Hugh Laurie, House
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment
Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Outstanding Actress, Comedy
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Sarah Silverman, The Sarah Silverman Program

Outstanding Series, Comedy
30 Rock
Family Guy
Entourage
The Office
Flight of the Conchords
Weeds
How I Met Your Mother

Outstanding Series, Drama
Breaking Bad
Damages
Dexter
House
Lost
Mad Men
Big Love

Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program
Ryan Seacrest, American Idol
Tom Bergeron, Dancing with the Stars
Heidi Klum, Project Runway
Jeff Probst, Survivor
Phil Keoghan, The Amazing Race
Padma Lakshmi and Tom Colicchio, Top Chef

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Late Show with David Letterman
Real Time with Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars
Project Runway
Top Chef

Outstanding Reality Program
Antiques Roadshow
Dirty Jobs
Dog Whisperer
Intervention
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
MythBusters

Oustanding Made for Televison Movie
Coco Chanel
Grey Gardens
Into the Storm
Prayers for Bobby
Taking Chance

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series
Brenda Blethyn, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Carol Burnett, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Ellen Burstyn, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Sharon Lawrence, Grey's Anatomy
CCH Pounder, The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series
Edward Asner, CSI: NY
Ernest Borgnine, ER
Ted Danson, Damages
Michael J. Fox, Rescue Me
Jimmy Smits, Dexter

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series
Jennifer Aniston, 30 Rock
Christine Baranski, The Big Bang Theory
Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live
Gena Rowlands, Monk
Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock
Betty White, My Name Is Earl

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series
Alan Alda, 30 Rock
Will Arnett, 30 Rock
Beau Bridges, Desperate Housewives
Jon Hamm, 30 Rock
Steve Martin, 30 Rock
Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special
Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger
Kathy Griffin: She'll Cut a Bitch
The Kennedy Center Honors
Ricky Gervais: Out of England — The Stand-Up Special
Will Ferrell: You're Welcome America

Outstanding Writing For A Variety, Music Or Comedy Series
Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Mike Sweeney, Chris Albers, Jose Arroyo, Dan Cronin, Kevin Dorff, Andres du Bouchet, Michael Gordon, Berkley Johson, Brian Kiley, Todd Levin, Brian McCann, Guy Nicolucci, Conan O'Brien, Matt O'Brien, Brian Stack, Andrew Weinberg
Late Show With David Letterman
Eric Stangel, Justin Stangel, Michael Barrie, Jim Mulholland, Steve Young, Tom Ruprecht, Lee Ellenberg, Matt Roberts, Jeremy Weiner, Joe Grossman, Bill Scheft, Bob Borden, Frank Sebastiano, David Letterman
Saturday Night Live
Seth Meyers, Doug Abeles, James Anderson, Alex Baze, Jessica Conrad, James Downey, Steve Higgins, Colin Jost, Erik Kenward, Rob Klein, John Lutz, Lorne Michaels, John Mulaney, Paula Pell, Simon Rich, Marika Sawyer, Akiva Schaffer, John Solomon, Emily Spivey, Kent Sublette, Jorma Taccone, Bryan Tucker
The Colbert Report
Stephen Colbert, Allison Silverman, Richard Dahm, Michael Brumm, Rob Dubbin, Opus Moreschi, Peter Gwinn, Jay Katsir, Frank Lesser, Tom Purcell, Glenn Eichler, Peter Grosz, Barry Julien, Meredith Scardino
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Steve Bodow, Jon Stewart, David Javerbaum, Josh Lieb, Rory Albanese, Kevin Bleyer, Jason Ross, Tim Carvell, John Oliver, Sam Means, Rob Kutner, J.R. Havlan, Rich Blomquist, Wyatt Cenac, Elliott Kalan, Rachel Axler

Cards aiming for Roy Halladay

Who would not want a rotation with Chris Carpenter, Roy Halladay, Adam Wainwright, and Kyle Lohse?!?

MLB Trade Rumors:

The Cardinals are prepared to offer talent for Roy Halladay, but they're not going to disassemble their entire system to acquire the Jays ace, according to Joe Strauss of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

Excerpts from Joe's article on Halladay:

Halladay, who enjoys full no-trade protection, has made clear to Blue Jays general manager J.P Ricciardi that he would accept a trade only to a contender. He also enjoys a strong friendship with Cardinals ace Chris Carpenter, his Blue Jays teammate before Carpenter signed here in December 2002.

Halladay stopped short of specifically commenting on the Cardinals as his next potential destination, but acknowledged knowing Carpenter's thoughts.

"Everybody raves about it here," Halladay said about four hours before Tuesday night's start. "I know how he feels and how much he loves it. That's from conversations we've had in the past. We haven't really discussed it recently."

Carpenter has publicly lobbied for the Cardinals to pursue the 2003 AL Cy Young Award winner. Cards general manager John Mozeliak acknowledged last week his intention to approach Ricciardi with the organization's interest. As one Cardinals source suggested this week, "We may be able to give up an arm or a leg. But we're not going to sacrifice the whole body" in a trade.

Pressed on St. Louis as a potential destination, Halladay said, "I just hate to say. I really do. It's not because I don't want to go to a certain place. Out of respect to Toronto, I'd just as soon not put the cart before the horse. It's just kind of a tough situation."

The Blue Jays coveted infielder Brett Wallace before the Cardinals took him in the first round of the 2007 amateur draft. Wallace currently is the Cardinals' top prospect. The Jays apparently expect major league-ready pitching in any package for Halladay, which poses a serious challenge to the Cardinals.

I blame Walt if this doesn't happen.

Funny People

Judd Apatow answers your questions on the upcoming film, Funny People.

What is the movie about?

It is about a world famous comedian who gets sick, then gets better and doesn’t know what to do with this second chance. It is also about his friendship with a young comedian, and his attempt to win back his old flame who is currently married and has two kids. And it is about fifty other things too. Just see it. I will ruin it if I try to explain it.

Is it a comedy or a drama?

It is a comedy. I think it is as funny as "The Forty Year Old Virgin" and "Knocked Up." It is more emotional than my other two films, but if you hate emotions you will still like it. And most people do hate emotions.

How many times should I see "Funny People"?

Three. Once for the laughs. The second time to notice the details you missed when you laughed. And the third time just to make sure we beat "Transformers" at the box office. We must not let robots rule the world.

Is it long?

Depends on your attention span. It is two minutes shorter than "Transformers 2," but the extra fifteen minutes is free! No extra charge! Did I mention we do not have any robots? Is that a bad thing?

Who is in it?

Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Eric Bna, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman, Aziz Ansari, Aubrey Plaza, Rza.[...]

Why do you put your children in your films?

Six words—I get to keep the money. And also, if I hire them I don’t have to meet anyone else’s weird kids.

The Second City ETC stage has a new revue making it's debut this month: Studs Terkel's Not Working!

According to the improv troupe, in the new show, "a cast of six talented actors take the piss out of what our world has become and how we got here. We've lost many things, but one thing will always stay the same — Chicago. We'll always have crooked politicians, civic pride and that crazy guy at Foster & Broadway."

Directed by Matt Hovde, the cast of Studs Terkel's Not Working includes Christina Anthony, Amanda Blake Davis, Tom Flanigan, Timothy Edward Mason, Beth Melewski and Andy St. Clair. Mike Descoteaux is musical director, and Joseph Ruffner is stage manager. Set designers are Kevin Depinet and Amy Jackson. The stylist is Logan Vaughn.

The producing team includes executive producer and proprietor for The Second City, Andrew Alexander; vice president of The Second City, Kelly Leonard; and co-producers Robin Hammond and Alison Riley.

Studs Terkel was a Chicago-based author, historian, actor and broadcaster, and typically referred to as the voice of the American worker. He is best remembered for his oral histories of common Americans in such books as "Working" and "The Good War." His last book, "P.S.: Further Thoughts from a Lifetime of Listening," was released in November 2008. Terkel died on Oct. 31, 2008, at the age of 96. To learn more about Studs Terkel and his work, visit www.studsterkel.org.

Jason Sudeikis is set to join the cast of the rom-com, Going the Distance.

"Saturday Night Live" veteran Jason Sudeikis is in final negotiations to join Drew Barrymore and Justin Long in the romantic comedy "Going the Distance."

Sudeikis will play Box, a friend of Garrett's (Long) who counsels him against trying to maintain his long-distance relationship with Barrymore's character. Charlie Day and Christina Applegate also were recently cast.

If this is the world premiere, then what was the screening that I just saw this past Monday in Chicago?

2009 MLB All-Star Game Rosters

National League
Elected starters
C-Yadier Molina, Cardinals (1)
1B-Albert Pujols, Cardinals (8)
2B-Chase Utley, Phillies (4)
3B-David Wright, Mets (4)
SS-Hanley Ramírez, Marlins (2)
OF-Carlos Beltrán*, Mets (5)
OF-Ryan Braun, Brewers (2)
OF-Raúl Ibáñez, Phillies (1)

Pitchers
Heath Bell,Padres (1)
Chad Billingsley, Dodgers (1)
Jonathan Broxton, Dodgers (1)
Matt Cain, Giants (1)
Francisco Cordero, Reds (3)
Zach Duke[c], Pirates (1)
Ryan Franklin, Cardinals (1)
Dan Haren, Diamondbacks (3)
Trevor Hoffman[d], Brewers (7)
Josh Johnson, Marlins (1)
Ted Lilly, Cubs (2)
Tim Lincecum, Giants (2)
Jason Marquis, Rockies (1)
Francisco Rodríguez, Mets (4)
Johan Santana, Mets (3)

Reserves
C-Brian McCann, Braves (4)
1B- Prince Fielder, Brewers (2)
1B-Adrian Gonzalez, Padres (2)
1B-Ryan Howard, Phillies (2)
2B-Orlando Hudson, Dodgers (2)
2B-Freddy Sanchez, Pirates (3)
3B-Ryan Zimmerman, Nationals (1)
SS-Miguel Tejada, Astros (6)
OF-Brad Hawpe, Rockies (1)
OF-Hunter Pence, Astros (1)
OF-Justin Upton, Diamondbacks (1)
OF-Shane Victorino, Phillies (1)
OF-Jayson Werth[e], Phillies (1)

American League
Elected starters
C-Joe Mauer, Twins (3)
1B-Mark Teixeira, Yankees (2)
2B-Dustin Pedroia*, Red Sox (2)
3B-Evan Longoria*, Rays (2)
SS-Derek Jeter, Yankees (10)
OF-Jason Bay, Red Sox (3)
OF-Ichiro Suzuki, Mariners (9)
OF-Josh Hamilton, Rangers (2)

Pitchers
Andrew Bailey, Athletics (1)
Josh Beckett, Red Sox (2)
Mark Buehrle, White Sox (4)
Brian Fuentes, Angels (3)
Zack Greinke, Royals (1)
Roy Halladay, Blue Jays (6)
Félix Hernández, Mariners (1)
Edwin Jackson, Tigers (1)
Joe Nathan, Twins (4)
Jonathan Papelbon, Red Sox (4)
Mariano Rivera, Yankees (10)
Justin Verlander, Tigers (2)
Tim Wakefield, Red Sox (1)

Reserves
C-Víctor Martínez, Indians (3)
1B-Justin Morneau, Twins (3)
1B-Carlos Peña[a], Rays (1)
1B-Kevin Youkilis, Red Sox (2)
2B-Aaron Hill, Blue Jays (1)
3B-Brandon Inge, Tigers (1)
3B-Michael Young, Rangers (6)
3B-Chone Figgins[F], Angels (1)
SS-Jason Bartlett, Rays (1)
OF-Carl Crawford, Rays (3)
OF-Nelson Cruz[b], Rangers (1)
OF-Curtis Granderson, Tigers (1)
OF-Torii Hunter, Angels (3)
OF-Adam Jones, Orioles (1)
OF-Ben Zobrist, Rays (1)

a. Carlos Peña replaced Dustin Pedroia due to family obligation.
b. Nelson Cruz replaced Torii Hunter due to injury.
c. Zach Duke replaced Matt Cain due to injury.
d. Trevor Hoffman replaced Jonathan Broxton due to injury.
e. Jayson Werth replaced Carlos Beltrán due to injury.
f. Chone Figgins replaced Evan Longoria on the roster due to injury; Michael Young replaced Longoria as starter at third base.
* This player will not start.

Managing the AL is Joe Maddon of Tampa Bay and Charlie Manuel of Phildelphia will take care of managing the NL.

United States President Barack Obama will throw out the ceremonial first pitch.

The game will be televised on FOX with Joe Buck doing the play by play and Tim McCarver providing commentary.

Starting Lineups
American League
Ichiro Suzuki, RF
Derek Jeter, SS
Joe Mauer, C
Mark Teixiera, 1B
Jason Bay, LF
Josh Hamilton, CF
Michael Young, 3B
Aaron Hill, 2B
Roy Halladay, P

National League
Hanley Ramirez, SS
Chase Utley, 2B
Albert Pujols, 1B
Ryan Braun, RF
Raul Ibanez, LF
David Wright, 3B
Shane Victorino, CF
Yadier Molina, C
Tim Lincecum, P

Umpires
HP Dana DeMuth
1B Brian Gorman
2B Jeff Kellogg
3B Angel Hernandez
LF Tim Timmons
RF Paul Nauert

2009 State Farm Home Run Derby

National League Participants
Albert Pujols, St. Louis Cardinals
Ryan Howard, Philadelhia Phillies
Adrian Gonzalez, San Diego Padres
Prince Fielder, Milwaukee Brewers

American League Participants
Nelson Cruz, Texas Rangers
Carlos Peña, Tampa Bay Rays
Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins
Brandon Inge, Detroit Tigers

The question remains, what will last longer, the Futures Game or the Home Run Derby?

Tune in to ESPN tomorrow night at 8/7 PM.

The Three Weeks

It's that time of year again. This past Wednesday, we entered the 17th day of Tammuz in the Jewish calendar, thus kicking off the start of the Three Weeks, a period of mourning. On the 17th day of Tammuz, the walls of Jerusalem were breached and that led to the destruction of the first Temple.

Here's some background on the 17th of Tammuz:

The 17th of Tammuz is a fast day commemorating the fall of Jerusalem, prior to the destruction of the Holy Temple. This also marks the beginning of a 3-week national period of mourning, leading up to Tisha B'Av.

The 17th of Tammuz is the first of four fast days mentioned in the prophets. The purpose of a fast day is to awaken our sense of loss over the destroyed Temple - and the subsequent Jewish journey into exile.[...]

Five great catastrophes occurred in Jewish history on the 17th of Tammuz:
*Moses broke the tablets at Mount Sinai — in response to the sin of the Golden Calf.

*The daily offerings in the First Temple were suspended during the siege of Jerusalem, after the Kohanim could no longer obtain animals.

*Jerusalem's walls were breached, prior to the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 CE.

*Prior to the Great Revolt, the Roman general Apostamos burned a Torah scroll - setting a precedent for the horrifying burning of Jewish books throughout the centuries.

*An idolatrous image was placed in the Sanctuary of the Holy Temple - a brazen act of blasphemy and desecration.

(Originally, the fast was observed on the Ninth of Tammuz since that was the day Jerusalem fell prior to the destruction of the First Temple in 586 BCE. However, after Jerusalem fell on the 17th of Tammuz - prior to the destruction of the Second Temple - the Sages decided upon a combined observance for both tragedies, the 17th of Tammuz.)

Here's an overview of the laws relating to the period of the Three Weeks.

The "Three Weeks" between the 17th of Tammuz and the Tisha B'Av have historically been days of misfortune and calamity for the Jewish people. During this time, both the First and Second Temples were destroyed, amongst other terrible tragedies.

These days are referred to as the period "within the straits" (bein hametzarim), in accordance with the verse: "all her oppressors have overtaken her within the straits" (Lamentations 1:3).

On Shabbat during the Three Weeks, the Haftorahs are taken from chapters in Isaiah and Jeremiah dealing with the Temple's destruction and the exile of the Jewish people.

During this time, various aspects of mourning are observed by the entire nation. We minimize joy and celebration. And, since the attribute of Divine judgement (“din”) is acutely felt, we avoid potentially dangerous or risky endeavors.

ASPECTS OF MOURNING DURING THE THREE WEEKS
1. No weddings are held. (However, engagement ceremonies are permitted.)
2. We do not listen to music.
3. We avoid all public celebrations -- especially those which involve singing, dancing and musical accompaniment.
4. We avoid pleasure trips or other unusually entertaining activities.
5. No haircuts or shaving. (Fingernails may be clipped up until the week in which Tisha B'Av falls.)
6. We do not say the blessing She-hechianu on new food or clothes, except on Shabbat.

The Nine Days, starting on the 1st day of Av start an strict period of morning.

1. We avoid purchasing any items that bring great joy.
2. We suspend home improvements, or the planting of trees and flowers.
3. We avoid litigation with non-Jews, since fortune is inauspicious at this time.
4. We abstain from the consumption of meat (including poultry) and wine. These foods are symbolic of the Temple service, and are generally expressions of celebration and joy.
**On Shabbat, meat and wine are permitted. This applies also to any other seuduat mitzvah -- for example, at a Brit Milah or at the completion of a tractate of Talmud.
**Wine from Havdallah should be given to a child to drink.
5. We refrain from wearing newly laundered garments, or laundering any clothes.
**If the "freshness" has been taken out of a garment prior to the Nine Days, it may be worn.
**Fresh clothes may be worn for Shabbat.
**The clothing of small children, which gets soiled frequently, may be laundered during the Nine Days.
**Clothes may not be laundered even if done in preparation for after Tisha B'Av, or even if done by a non-Jew.
6. We do not bathe for pleasure.
**It is permitted to bathe in order to remove dirt or perspiration, or for medical reasons. This may be done only in cool water.
**Furthermore, the body should be washed in parts, rather than all at one time.
**Bathing in warm water is permitted on Friday in honor of Shabbat.

What happened on Tisha B'Av?

On Tisha B'Av, five national calamities occurred:

1. During the time of Moses, Jews in the desert accepted the slanderous report of the 10 Spies, and the decree was issued forbidding them from entering the Land of Israel. (1312 BCE)

2. The First Temple was destroyed by the Babylonians, led by Nebuchadnezzar. 100,000 Jews were slaughtered and millions more exiled. (586 BCE)

3. The Second Temple was destroyed by the Romans, led by Titus. Some two million Jews died, and another one million were exiled. (70 CE)

4. The Bar Kochba revolt was crushed by Roman Emperor Hadrian. The city of Betar -- the Jews' last stand against the Romans -- was captured and liquidated. Over 100,000 Jews were slaughtered. (135 CE)

5. The Temple area and its surroundings were plowed under by the Roman general Turnus Rufus. Jerusalem was rebuilt as a pagan city -- renamed Aelia Capitolina -- and access was forbidden to Jews.

Some other misfortunates that came our way:

1. The Spanish Inquisition culminated with the expulsion of Jews from Spain on Tisha B'Av in 1492.

2. World War One broke out on the eve of Tisha B'Av in 1914 when Germany declared war on Russia. German resentment from the war set the stage for the Holocaust.

3. On the eve of Tisha B'Av 1942, the mass deportation began of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto, en route to Treblinka.

The USOC and Chicago 2016

This doesn't look good for Chicago 2016.

Just as Chicago tries to ride out one storm buffeting its bid to host the 2016 Olympic Games, it could face another problem: possible backlash from a money-related dispute between the U.S. Olympic Committee and the International Olympic Committee.

"I don't see how this can help," IOC Executive Board member Richard Carrion of Puerto Rico said via telephone Wednesday.

This week, Chicago's 2016 Olympic boosters unveiled a plan to meet with residents of all 50 wards in an effort to rebuild support in the wake of a controversy sparked last month when Mayor Richard Daley said he would sign a host-city agreement placing full financial responsibility for any losses on the city.

Now, Chicago's bid faces another potential hurdle because of actions not of its making.

The IOC is upset that the USOC, which would reap huge financial benefits from a Chicago Summer Games, went ahead Wednesday with an announcement about its Olympic television network launch with Comcast, despite the IOC's advice to wait until contractual issues were resolved.

The dispute boils down to what impact the U.S. Olympic Network will have on IOC cash cow NBC, the network of the Olympics in the United States through 2012, and to a long-standing question about marketing rights and use of Olympic marks that 1978 federal legislation granted the USOC.

In an interview with the Tribune after the IOC's position first was reported by The New York Times, USOC Chief Operating Officer Norm Bellingham said Chicago 2016 was not involved in discussions about the Olympic network.

"If this damages the [Chicago] bid, it would be deeply unfortunate, and it is in no way our intention," Bellingham said. "We are not trying necessarily to advance the Chicago bid, but we believe we are trying to advance the Olympic movement in the U.S. territory."[...]

The latest problems began after USOC Chairman Larry Probst called IOC President Jacques Rogge on Friday to let Rogge know of the impending announcement about the network, scheduled to launch after the 2010 Winter Games with programming that would include Olympic-related competition and archival Olympic footage.

Rogge advised the USOC to discuss the plans with IOC television director Timo Lumme, which Bellingham did by phone Monday. A day later, Lumme sent Bellingham what amounted to a cease-and-desist letter.

According to sources familiar with the letter, it expressed strong concerns about the network and said the IOC was not sure it would allow the USOC to use Olympic symbols or archival footage.

Here's a letter sent from the IOC to the USOC. It's not pretty, not at all.

The Chicago Tribune has comments from NBC Sports chief Dick Ebersol:

NBC Sports Chairman Dick Ebersol, one of the most influential players in the Olympic world, blames the United States Olympic Committee for jeopardizing Chicago's chances to win the 2016 Summer Olympics.

"The only thing that can cost Chicago the Games is continuing squabbles between the two parties," Ebersol said Friday via telephone, referring to the latest quarrel between the USOC and the International Olympic Committee.

"And this one clearly is all on the USOC, no two ways about it."

This problem arose when the USOC went ahead with its Wednesday announcement about the 2010 launch of a U.S. Olympic television network despite the IOC telling it to delay the announcement until contractual issues were resolved.

Chicago has the best American bid I have ever seen," Ebersol said. "It is heartbreaking to see the continuing USOC-IOC squabbles get in the middle of it."

NBC's interests play a major role in this dispute because the IOC wants to protect its cash cow. NBC paid $5.7 billion for U.S. rights to the seven Winter and Summer Olympics from 2000 through 2012, which amounts to more than half the IOC's global TV revenue.

Talks for U.S. rights to the 2014 and 2016 Olympics are expected to begin after the Oct. 2 vote in Copenhagen on the 2016 host. Rio de Janeiro, Madrid and Tokyo are the other finalists.

The USOC and IOC also have been embroiled in a long-standing battle over USOC share of U.S. broadcast rights. That had led to exchanges of vitriol hurting Chicago's bid until the parties agreed at a March meeting in Denver to start fresh negotiations after the 2016 host decision.

Ebersol said "absolutely not" to the question of whether the latest dispute doomed Chicago's bid.

"[Chicago] needs to make sure the IOC knows they were blind-sided just like the IOC was and that they will do their best as intermediaries to bring peace to the valley," he said.

Ebersol said it became starkly evident Chicago stood to lose in the latest dispute after the IOC issued a statement Thursday saying it was "disappointed the USOC acted unilaterally and, in our view, in haste."

He felt that statement was guaranteed to attract the attention of the IOC electorate, some of which would "come in full bore on the USOC and, consequently, Chicago."

"The IOC was forced to explain its position publicly when they probably would just as soon have settled this privately with something in it for both parties," he said.

"By rushing this announcement, [the USOC] put the IOC in a position where they have to react to protect their interests in the overall climate of the [upcoming] television negotiations and the Olympic advertising marketplace."[...]

Yarmuth walks out

C-J:

When the Congressional Black Caucus decided to ask for a moment of silence on the U.S. House floor after the death of singer Michael Jackson, Rep. John Yarmuth walked out.

The 3rd District Democrat said his June 26 protest had nothing to do with Jackson per se, but rather with what he viewed as an inappropriate gesture in the middle of an important debate over energy.

"I just thought that was really ridiculous," Yarmuth said in an interview.[...]

But Yarmuth insisted that to interrupt a major debate over energy legislation, one of the most important bills the lawmakers will consider this year, to ask for silence for Michael Jackson was "over the top."

"We have many opportunities to pay tribute to people we want to pay tribute to," the Louisville congressman said.

Yarmuth said he does not recall a moment of silence after the deaths of other entertainers and athletes.

Former members of Congress are accorded the gesture, and every month the House has a moment of silence for the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan and their families. The House also has had moments of silence for the victims of Kentucky's ice storm and the bridge collapse in Minneapolis, Yarmuth said.

Jim Wallis talks to Jon Stewart

Sojourners:

Jim Wallis: The Hebrew prophets often use humor, satire, and truth-telling to get their message across, and I feel you do a combination of all three. How conscious are you of this, and are you trying to make social change happen?

Jon Stewart: It may be true that the Hebrew prophets used humor in that regard, to create social change, but it was also used by Borscht Belt social directors. We’ve got a lot more in common with them than the prophets. Everyone here has a lot of respect for activists and an appreciation for what it takes to be an activist. For most of us, writing jokes, playing a little Guitar Hero in the afternoon, and calling it a day seems to be the way to go. Because we’re in the public eye, maybe people project onto us their desires for that type of activism coming from us, but just knowing the process here as I do, our show is maybe the antithesis of activism, and that is a relatively selfish pursuit. The targets we choose, the way we go about it—it’s got more of a personal venting aspect than a socially conscious aspect.

Here's David Waters' take on that:

Stewart is more than a comedian. He’s the Will Rogers of our time, laughing with us as he sharply and satirically mocks the absurdities of politics, media and popular culture. But a prophet? Seems like quite a stretch, at least in the theological sense of the word.[...]

In Stewart’s world of real people and fake news, cause and effect are clearly comical, not theological.[...]

Stewart spends plenty of time exposing the phony and self-serving powers that be, but he told Wallis he doesn’t think people should see what he does as social activism.

Real prophets aren’t venting on their own. “G-d is raging in the prophet’s words,” wrote Abraham Joshua Heschel, the great 20th-Century Jewish theologian.

I don’t think Jon Stewart qualifies as a prophet, but who’s to say G-d doesn’t also send us court jesters?

Independence Photos

Quote of the Day

"I believe that (the adoption of the Declaration of Independence) will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other."
-- John Adams

The Declaration of Independence

The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies
In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. —Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain [George III] is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

The signers of the Declaration represented the new states as follows:
New Hampshire
Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts
John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island
Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut
Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York
William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey
Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania
Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware
Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland
Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia
George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina
William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina
Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia
Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

G-d Bless the USA

G-d Bless the U.S.A
by Lee Greenwood

If tomorrow all the things were gone
I'd worked for all my life,
And I had to start again
with just my children and my wife,
I'd thank my lucky stars
to be living here today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
and they can't take that away.

I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
G-d Bless the U.S.A.

From the lakes of Minnesota
to the hills of Tennessee,
Across the plains of Texas
from sea to shining sea.
From Detroit down to Houston
and New York to L.A.,
There's pride in every American heart
and it's time we stand and say:

I'm proud to be an American
where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget the men who died
who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you
and defend her still today,
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
G-d Bless the U.S.A.

Sarah Palin resigns, announces 2012 Presidential run

That's how I'm reading Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's resignation speech. She's running for president in 2012 the way that I'm reading the speech.

Will the comedies get some love from Oscar?

The Oscars have expanded their list of movies to be nominated for best picture from five to ten. Will this mean that some comedies will actually get some love?

The move clearly solves some significant problems. Comedies, which are always among the year’s top-grossing films, never get a trip to the best picture party — Judd Apatow has always been a bystander when it comes to that storied walk to the dais. And well-made big movies — think “Iron Man,” not just “Dark Knight” — rarely get invited into the exclusive tent. And animated films that break through to become plain old great movies — “Wall-E” and “Ratatouille” come to mind — often end up in the animated category, which is viewed as the little kids’ table at the big show.

Who woulda thunk?

Rogen is attached to and developing a road (trip?) comedy called Mother's Curse that he'll co-star in with Barbra Streisand. Yep, you heard that right, the same Barbra Streisand that brought us "Happy Days Are Here Again" and played Mrs. Focker in Meet the Fockers.