Saturday, September 02, 2006

Late Night Thread

So it's Labor Day weekend and the big game is tomorrow evening.

The Red Sox have had to adjust their start times to earlier in the day due to inclement weather. One can't help but feel sorry for them. They have lost so many players due to injuries or serious but non-life threatening health issues. Ortiz has not been cleared to play yet. Jon Lester has been diagnosed with lymphoma, which they are saying is the treatable version. Papelbon is out a week. Schilling has some soreness.

September 1
Toronto 1, Boston 2
Winning pitcher - Kyle Snyder (4-3)
SV - Mike Timlin (3)
HR: Mike Lowell (17)

September 2
Toronto 5, Boston 1
Losing pitcher - Kevin Jarvis (0-2)

BangItOut sent this to it's listserv the other day. It's not online yet so I don't have a link quite yet.
Top Ten Jewish Reasons for Labor Day
10. The Jews labored in Eygpt, and God took us out with an mighty fist and an outstretched arm...
9. In honor of Yitzchak Rabin, Peres, Mitzna and the rest of the Labor Party
8. "Labor-day" in Lakewood means get the mohel standing by
7. To ruin friends long weekend with end-of-summer Simchas
6. It's like Shabbos, but you are allowed to do "labor" over the BBQ grill
5. Yiddin need to know when to stop wearing straw hats
4. Labor Day - early bird special on yom-tov and back-to-sneus clothing
3. Gives shul shmoozer the opportunity to ask the obvious rhetorical and annoying question:, "It's Labor Day, yet nobody goes to work?"
2. Finally allows white collar Jews to boast being part of a Union...AKA the O.U.
1. Labor Day, the official beginning of when you can use the 'I'll wait till after the yomim tovim" excuse.
Sorry, Donald, but reach out you want, you still won't get support from Democrats.

Lewis Black makes about $20,000 a month.

So which newspaper do you read? This was in the mailbag and it's worth a post.
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do so.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. The only exceptions are if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens or from another galaxy, provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. None of these is read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.

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