President Barack Obama:
It's time to stop playing the old Washington games. We need to work together to do what's best for the American people. Disagreements are so... well... disagreeable. Everyone's point of view must be respected and given its due. To that end, I am appointing a bipartisan commission to investigate and adjudicate the merits of the arguments my conservative brothers and sisters have made about my Kenyan origins.According to the press release:
The commission will be co-chaired by Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson and Karl Rove, former advisor to President George W. Bush. In a joint statement issued after the President's remarks, Mr. Nelson and Mr. Rove said, "We are committed to putting partisan differences aside, and objectively determining exactly which Muslim nation the President was born in."Has it really come to this?!?
Just kidding, I knew it was satire from the start...