I should backdate this to last Saturday but I will not. I recorded the show mainly because Natalie Portman was the host.
Cold Opening: Will Forte is back again as the president and has much to talk about: his trip to Afghanistan, India, and Pakistan, a message to OBL, Katrina and the Dick Cheney shooting. He also says that the US will use Ditech for debt consolidation and pokes fun at Bode Miller for his time at the Olympics. Dick Cheney comes in and says that he will not keep it a secret the next time. Live from New York, it's Darrell Hammond.
Monologue: Natalie takes questions about her films. Andy Samberg plays a Star Wars nerd and asks about Jango Fett and Sypho-Dyus and their dealings with the Galactic Senate. Natalie corrects him. Seth asks about Obi-Wan Kenobi and the Wookie planet but Obi-Wan went to Utapau while Yoda went to Wookie planet. Finesse asks what Star Wars is. Kristen Wiig hasks about why she shaved her head. She thought it was because of head lice and not V for Vendetta. Chris Parnell asks about her wardrobe from The Professional and if she will sell it.
Nelson's Baby Toupees: Rerun from January 21, 2006.
Jamba Juice: The employees are Natalie Portman, Seth Meyers and Horatio "Must Go" Sanz. They are hyper and very energetic. Other cast members in this sketch are Rachel Dratch, Kenan Thompson, Chris Parnell, and Bill Hader. Amy Poehler doesn't want a free boost which leads to characters breaking (Seth and Horatio) but she ends up getting it eventually.
Larry King Live: Fred Armisen as LK interviews several transgendered people. Amy and Rachel play twins, and Amy's character went under the knife to become a guy. Will Forte plays a male who became female. Natalie Portman plays a female who is on the way to becoming a guy. I've never heard a certain word so many times on the show before.
The Needlers (The Couple that Should Be Divorced): Dan and Sally Needler are back and they argue just like the last few times. This recurring sketch shows the great chemistry between Amy and Seth. They meet with a fertility doctor, played by the lovely Natalie Portman, who advises them to get couples therapy. They have sex in the waiting room instead. Jason Sudeikis is also in this sketch as a fellow doctor or nurse.
Robert Smigel Cartoon (Belated Black History Moment): This cartoon features live action and is hosted by Dennis Haysbert. He talks about failed shows dealing with African-Americans. Token Power, a "huge piece of crap," was cancelled quickly in 1992. The episode clip shown featured them singing at the Million Man March and they had to be saved by Bryant Gumbel and the CBS eye. CBS started the Hoke and Daisy Show only to find that it was a "bowl of elephant piss" and was cancelled after the first airing in 1993. Warner Brothers started Ladysmith Black Mambazo in Outer Space, an ensemble cartoon that "sucked it hard." It was cancelled as well.
Artsy Apartment - Nuni (Fred), Nuni (Maya Rudolph), and Tato are back. This time with Nuni (Natalie Portman) and her boyfriend, Jeff (Jason). Fred and Maya argue with Jason over the pronounciation of the names and gives Jason the hair chair. Tato gives them melted ice cream. I never liked this sketch from the first airing.
Fall Out Boy sings "Dance, Dance."
Weekend Update: Bush jokes dealing with his trips to Afghanistan, India and Pakistan. Outsourcing jokes. Bush rating at 34%. Cheney urges to "save more" or he will shoot. Anna Nicole Smith and her lawsuit are at the Supreme Court. Martha Stewart and Donald Trump feud. Darrell Hammond plays Donald Trump impersonating Martha Stewart. Trump disses Martha. An anti-depression patch was approved. Closing Ceremonies at the Olympics prompting Amy to joke about Bode Miller. Natalie plays Sasha Cohen and performs excellent at the short joke program. Dancing with the Stars. Kenan Thompson has a new line of clothes for African-American men who prefer drag. Finesse Mitchell plays his recurring role. Savannah Sampson is starting a line of wines which earns Amy a best joke award. Bill Clinton advises Dubai on a port deal. An Austrailian grandmother was given an award for saving a friend. Sasha struggles through the Aristocrats joke.
Wake up, Wakefield: Sheldon finally has his Bar Mitzvah. Featuring Maya as Megan and Rachel as Sheldon. Megan has a crush on Adam Levine while Sheldon is upset that Rebecca Hershlag is now interested in his debate partner. There is a professional Conan O'Brien look-a-like. Fred plays the grandfather who gives him a $100 check--making me wonder where all my Bar Mitzvah money has gone... Jazz Times 10 plays "Hava Nagilah"
The Real Natalie: 'Nuff said about this digital short featuring Natalie, Chris, and Andy. I posted the lyrics the other day and have since corrected the errors that I made. This sketch was better than "Lazy Sunday."
RAD 3000: Rerun from October 29, 2005
This Saturday features Matt Dillon and the Arctic Monkeys.