Actress Annette Bening hosts Saturday Night Live with musical guest Gwen Stefani. With Stefani on, I don't have high hopes for SNL this evening.
Cold Open - A Message from the President - Bush (Jason Sudeikis) addresses the ISG recommendations. The report is enlightening and irritating. There are two different types of Muslims. Bush will consider all the recommendations. Charlotte Poter of Table Rock, Arkansas, says to declare Iraq the 51st state. Bush says the tunnels would have to be long but that there's no jobs in Iraq. Wyatt Schiavelli. of New Britain, CT, says that we should poison their water. Gene Fowler of Apache Junction, AZ, says to restore Hussein to power and write a check to Iraq for damage. Bush is leaning towards this. Has no intention of handing it off to the next president. Intends to stay on as president until the job in Iraq is finished. Says Jeb, Barbara, and Jenna could take over. He's the decider. Live from New York, it's President George Walker Bush (Jason Sudeikis).
Monologue - Annette Bening greets the audience and plugs her new film with Alec Baldwin. Takes questions. Kristen Wiig said she loves the crazy real estate character in American Beauty--she later says that she's a real estate agent. Amy Poehler, wearing a Century 21 suit, asks if she takes into account the thousands of female real estate agents. Maya Rudolph asks a question and she's wearing a ReMax suit. Alec Baldwin cameos and calls their remarks ridiculous. Baldwin says he lives there and points out he played a real estate agent.
An SNL Movie Trailer Recut - uh, pretty much says "The Jews are coming" and "The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." A kid says he smells bagels. It's for Apocalypto.
Good Morning, I hate this town - Alan French (Suds) and Samantha (Host) talk about how they hate their town. Mayor Tom Ridley will be a guest on their town. Larry (Kenan) is the meteorologist and says that you'll need an umbrella. Pam Dibble (Amy Poehler), the cooking expert, will show you how to make tree ornaments that are edible. They really do hate their town.
TV Funhouse - Diddy Kiddies - In part 23 of this series, it features several new music videos, "Call Me Out," "Work it Up," and they need to solve the mystery of what he does.
High School Romance - The teacher Diane (Host) and student Daniel (Andy Samberg) are having some sort of affair in this sketch. Apparently, Playstation 3 is better than Nintendo Wii. Samberg then says he wants to break up. Benning then breaks into a song. Peter (Bill Hader) than comes in and says he's having trouble with his poem.
Two A-holes in a live nativity scene - The director is Annette. Suds and Kristen are supposed to be Joseph and Mary. Expect full burst laughter. When does 24 come back on. There's a real donkey. They are asked to take out their chewing gum. They are then asked to leave. Kristen says she looks like Mrs. Brady.
SNL Digital Short - Pep Talk - Set in a restaurant with Fred Armisen, Amy Poehler, Andy Samberg, Kenan Thompson, I think that's Matthew Fox. Fred is threatening all the workers. Will Forte is late and his head explodes--actually, that was a fake Fred. I guess that this short was not ready in time last week. A message at the end: Happy Holidays.
Buyer Beware - Kenan Thompson and Maya Rudolph come to you from his garage on the Brooklyn Information and Culture (BRI&C)channel. Maya talks about buying the Wii system. Kenan recommends against Sam's Club and Costco.
Gwen Stefani sings "Wind it up."
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers - The Iraq Study Group report is taking it as serious as other reports stuffed down his desk. Al Gore called Iraq the "worst strategic mistake." The cost would be over $1 trillion. Saudi Arabia is working to keep oil affordable. Lindsay Lohan's latest trouble is a blackberry message dealing with VP Al Gore. Former Vice President Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) thanks them for the endorsement. He knows how words are taken out of context. Lohan did approach him but Gore has a different memory of it. Lohan called him Vice President Cheney. Then she calls him "Mr. Ambassador" and referenced Happy Feet. Then she threw up on him. He says he won the popular vote when he gets nervous. He then made a run for it. He says we should all be scared of Lindsay Lohan. Soldiers have begun to use silly string to detect traps. TomKat will host a second wedding party. The yellow wiggle is leaving the Wiggles. Eighty perecent of chicken was tainted with salmonella while salmon was tainted with chickenella. A passenger, Gloria Patrick (Kristen Wiig), lit a match to get the smell of flatulence. She cited stomach problems. Cocain was found at Wal-Mart in Oklahoma. To Kodiac bairs attacked each other in Florida. A study in India says condoms are too big. A new study says cell phones causes cancer. The key to longevity is smoking marijuana. Rip Torn was arrested for driving under the influence. Will Forte comments on same-sex marriage. He wrote a protest song with Fred Armisen. Someone switched the cards to undermine his point. He keeps showing pictures of people that divorced.
Monster Under the Bed - Casey (Amy Poehler) wakes up in the middle of the night. Her parents are Will Forte and Annette Benning. She thinks a monster is under or her bed. Both parents are going crazy. Amy says it could be her imagination. Forte has two guns on him. He gives a gun to Annette and says that he loves them. A monster (Bill Hader) comes out of the closet to sing "Have a Holly Jolly Xmas" until he's shot dead.
Commercial - Valtrex (Baldwin/Aguilera)
Socially Awkward Officeworkers Night Out - Recurring sketch with Jean (Kristen) and Neil (Will Forte) along with Meryl (Annette). Bill Hader directs them to a table. They do not have a jukebox machine but they will have a DJ. Forte and Wiig are calm while Annette is nervous. They don't have pocketbook lockers or wheelchairs for people with leg sweat problems. I did not like the original sketch a while back during season 31 from the Lohan/Pearl Jam episode.
Akon sings "I Want to Love You" featuring Snoop Dogg.
Stanfield and Partlow - Martha Stanfield (Host) talks about cats and how the law affects you. Christopher Partlow (Bill Hader) is her partner. The SNL logo with Benning's picture was on screen a few seconds too soon.
December 16 - Justin Timberlake does double duty.