I honestly have no expectations going into this episode, especially after last week's marathon of cameos.
Cold Open - A Message From the President - NBC decided to delay SNL in favor of a message from President George W. Bush (Jason Sudeikis). He talked about his trip to Asia, where apparently "we are now at war with Vietnam," and he blames himself for that. Bush says he thinks it will lead to a withdrawal of troops from Iraq. This war with Vietnam is against both North and South, which he hopes to get done while cutting taxes. There will be no cutting and running, only staying the course. What's that? No strategy on how to fight Vietnam! Suds does a better Bush than Will Forte but nowhere close to that of Will Ferrell. Live from New York, it's Jason Sudeikis!
Monologue - Ludacris says it is an honor to finally host the show while plugging Crash and Therapy. He then goes on to talk about what name (Chris Bridges or Ludacris) to use and when he uses it. Rick Barnes (Kenan Thompson) comes on stage saying how un original it is and how his stage name is Ricdiculous.
Young Douglas: Hypin' the Classics - We have a promo for the latest CD by Young Douglas. Some tracks follow:
Harry Connick, Jr. (Jason Sudeikis) - It Had to Be You
Barbra Streisand (Maya Rudolph) - The Way We Were
James Blunt (Andy Samberg) - You're Beautiful)
Dolly Parton (Amy Poehler) - I Will Always Love You
Louis Armstrong (Kenan Thompson) - Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
Bitc*slap Method - Samantha Hawkins (Maya Rudolph) hosts this informercial with Dr. Archibald Bitc*slap (Host) about his method of helping troubled marriages. The two families are Pete and Donna Longhorne (Jason Sudeikis and Kristen Wiig) and Jody and Deborah Preston (Bill Hader and Amy Poehler). Both families praised the method.
The O'Reilly Factor - Bill O'Reilly (Darrell Hammond) blasts Pepsi for it's past hiring Ludacris as their spokesperson. He then blasts Def Jam Records for doing the same and invites Michael Dantley (Kenan Thompson) on the show. Dantley questions O'Reilly, especially when Bill threatens a boycott which could have an uncertainty regarding sales going up or down. The next guess is the Fox legal correspondent, Anthony Brooks (Host). Again, Bill has his facts wrong questioning why a judge would name a lawyer who beat a defended as the man of the year. Brooks defends the judge saying that the lawyer didn't beat anyone but gave them a scholarship. Brooks said he backed the boycott. In the viewer's mailbag, the Mississippi River was named the longest river, when everyone knows it's the Nile in Africa. Finally, Bill plugs his book.
Booty Bidness Workwear - The host plugs this new l9ine of clothing, mainly being worn by Amy, Kristen, and I think Maya. It's available at J.C. Penny.
Superhits Studios - This sketch involves Maya, Jason, and Kenan being upset with the host's selection of a rapper and the song. Blizzard Man (Andy Samberg) lays a single down and everyone but Ludacris looks dumbfounded and believe it to be really bad. Eventually, after they feel threatened by the lyrics, they decide to give in and agree to hit. The song is no hit and the #1 least bought album is "Rap Song" by Ludacris and Blizzard Man.
Ludacris sings "Money Maker"
Weekend Update with Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers - Bush examining Iraq, only open to ideas from those in agreement with him. FDA's ban on silicone breast implants end. Trent Lott is the new Minority Whip. In Kentucky, four people were shot at a Best Buy in a case of nerd on nerd violence. John Abizaid is optimistic, he has high hopes on Brad and Jennifer. OJ's new book. John Mark Karr (Bill Hader) finds it to be an exploitation of a tragedy and then confesses to the actual murder, along with hitting Naomi Campbell's maid, shooting 50 Cent 11 times, and killing Bambi's mother. MLK Jr. memorial, why is Tommy Hilfiger there? TomKat wedding and shows where the guests were sitting. dancing with the Stars, Emmitt Smith won and went on to spike his partner. Delta airlines complaint. NBC laid off even more people. The Vatican announced that their priests must remain celibate. Tobey Maguire and his girlfriend had a kid out of wed lock. Seth must have lost confidence in his joke as Bobby Knight (Jason Sudeikis) stormed out to the studio to shout at and hit him. Google's search listings have 1% for sexually explicit websites...Seth comments that "it's plenty." Thanksgiving Message from Sixteen and a half editor Anoosa Rosenfield (Maya Rudolph) telling the audience that there are hungry people out there and that people should donate their food. Microsoft has a new item out there called Zune. Carnival cruise line had a ship with 700 people getting sick, blamed oysters. Manatees are smarter than they appear. Muslim backlash with holidays. Women are having allergic reaction to their partners after sex.
CW's Pool Watch - This is a life guard drama set in Atlanta. Jalen Summers is played by the host and Terrence Wilkins by Kenan Thompson. Maya plays an elderly woman asking for help. The host then has to remove all of his jewelry as a result and asks his friend, Terrence, to watch all his gear because he does not trust the elder lady. Because he takes too long, the lady dies and the life guard admits that he can't swim.
Hair Transplantation - Dr. Schultz is played by the host and Jason is Nurse Hamilton. The patient is Will Forte. Forte got a hair transplant and had to sign confidentiality agreements. The host puts on his running shoes, forgets the cost, and has Will write a blank check, yep, he's getting out of the country. It is revealed that the doctor wants to be like Elton John.
Olivia Cruise Lines - Arizona (Amy Poehler) welcomes everyone to the lesbian cruise and invites Captain Ronald Huggins to speak. He assures them that nothing will go wrong before hitting on them. He approaches Maya and Kristen, who have been partners for five years. As a result of a toast, he is thrown overboard.
Ludacris sings "Runaway Love," featuring Mary J. Blige.
Old Friends - Darrell Hammond plays an old man and the host plays an actor from the Bonnie Miller show, which was cancelled 25 years ago. They talk about the old times and Darrell's mustache starts falling off to the point that he breaks character.
On November 25, 2006, a rerun of Hugh Laurie/Beck will air. On December 2, 2006, the show is live again with Matthew Fox hosting and musical guest Tenacious D.