Monday, April 14, 2008

A Pesach Joke

This comes via
Top 10 Reasons to Celebrate Passover
10. Save money by using last year’s Matza (it won’t taste any different and you haven’t thought of eating it since then)
9. Elbows on the table
8. Maror – it’s a better medicine for sinuses than any prescription.
7. Four cups of wine (and if Elijah doesn’t show this year, there’s a 5th!!)
6. The extra cash from selling your Chometz comes in handy after Spring Break.
5. The required cleaning of the refrigerator gives you a reason to throw out that old milk container.
4. You actually eat the parsley.
3. Reasons to use your wooden spoon, candle, and feather collection that you can actually tell you mother about.
2. Think of all the toilet paper you save by eating Matzah for a week.
1. To remember that Charlton Heston (and his wife, Lilly Munster) led you out of Egypt.

Another one:
Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.

Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:

"You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news."

Moses was staggered. The voice continued:

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs"

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locust."

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh's army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land."

Moses was stunned. He stammered, "That's.... that's fantastic. I can't believe it! --- But what's the bad news?"

"You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement."

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